Everyone's been on a bad date at least once in their life. It's part of the great American pursuit of pussycat. This Friday, Steve Carrell and Tina Fey hook up in Date Night, a comedy about a suburban married couple whose spice-less dinner-and-a-movie routine gets shaken up by a case of mistaken identity and a runaround with gangsters and corrupt cops. Sounds kind of fun compared to some of the failed dates we've seen on screen. With fingers crossed that it doesn't jinx our weekend plans, Complex gives you the 10 worst dates in movie history...
ALONG CAME POLLY, 2004
• There are shitty dates and then there are shitty dates. Despite having Irritable Bowel Syndrome, usually cautious Reuben (Ben Stiller) eats spicy Moroccan food to impress daring dame Polly (Jennifer Aniston). When he inevitably explodes on her toilet, she's out of toilet paper, so he has to wipe with her towels, and trying to flush the evidence leads to him flooding the bathroom with fecal water. And he thought the food burned going in.
• When Alex (Will Smith) accidentally eats shellfish while on a date, his face goes all puffer fish on him. Word to male enhancement ads, that's not the generous swelling a dude wants to end his night out with.
THE INVENTION OF LYING, 2009
• In a world where lying doesn't exist, Anna (Jennifer Garner) keeps it all the way real with her fat loser date, Mark (Ricky Gervais), telling him that he's unattractive and undesirable and she's only out with him because her mom worries she'll die alone. On the bright side, he didn't have to pour drinks into her all night to get that nugget out of her.
SAVING SILVERMAN, 2001
• In an attempt to keep Darren (Jason Biggs) from talking about his witch of a fiancee while out on a date with the high school sweetheart he's meant to be with, the friends who kidnapped his fiancee strap him with electrodes so they can zap him, only they end up setting his shirt and the bar on fire. Yet another burning sensation we could do without.
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, 1998
• Prom night is supposed to be a magical night when high school kids get all dressed up and bang their date in a hotel room, car, or stairwell but Ted (Ben Stiller) tragically fucks up his chance to impress and undress his dream girl Mary (Cameron Diaz) when he zippers his frank and beans. It's one instance when the zip-lock does NOT keep things fresh.
BOOTY CALL, 1997
• Rushon (Tommy Davidson) and Bunz (Jamie Foxx) are about to smash two lovely ladies when they're derailed because they don't have any condoms. Their pursuit of prophylactics leads to them wrapping themselves in plastic wrap, nearly asphyxiating themselves, and also catching a stray bullet on the street. It's like we keep trying to tell chicks: There's nothing more dangerous than safe sex.
KNOCKED UP, 2007
• When you've just smashed a hot chick who's way out of your league after meeting her at the club, it's great to get a callback, as Ben (Seth Rogen) does. When the reason she invited you to dinner is so she can tell you she's pregnant, it's a little less so.
AMERICAN PIE, 1999
• When on a study date with hot foreign exchange student Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) turns physical, virgin Jim (Jason Biggs) completely blows it—all over his boxers before he even slips it in. Lesson learned: That is not the way to bone up on a subject.
DUMB & DUMBER, 1994
• A body-ravaging case of the squirts on a date is bad enough, but unload on the chick's broken toilet, as Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels) does and the only way you'll be talking dirty to her is when you're asking for the number of her plumber.
• As if being forced to work at the convenience store on his day off weren't bad enough, Dante's (Brian O'Halloran) date with his ex goes all types of wrong when she mistakes an old man who died masturbating in the bathroom for Dante and has sex with his corpse. That'll pretty much dead your fun for the night.