We're pretty big believers in alternative medicine around here. And no, we're not talking about medical marijuana, Cheech. You see, a lot of the problems you waste money visiting doctors for could be cured by simply watching TV. For instance, having trouble sleeping? Watch anything on PBS. Just accidentally swallowed poison and need to induce vomiting? Watch Jerry Seinfeld's Marriage Ref. Feeling a little depressed? Brighten up your day by watching our Complex TV Picks...
SPORTS: NBA: SAN ANTONIO VS. ORLANDO, ESPN, 8 PM ET
• Don't let all the NCAA tournament chatter make you forget about the bigger and better league, the NBA. Tim Duncan and Dwight Howard look to outplay one another tonight in the first of their two regular season games.
COMEDY: UGLY AMERICANS, COMEDY CENTRAL, 10:30 PM
• New York City has more than its fair share of creepers, but Ugly Americans takes it to a whole new level. On tonight's series premiere of Comedy Central's newest animated horror-comedy, find out what NYC would be like if vampires, werewolves, and other sci-fi monsters walked the streets with us. Also, keep it locked on Comedy Central to catch the Season 14 premiere of South Park at 10, as well as Snoop Dogg's guest appearance on The Daily Show at 11.
MUSIC: LUDACRIS: ON THE RECORD WITH FUSE, FUSE, 9 PM
• Luda's been making the publicity rounds lately, doing everything from sipping Conjure with Martha Stewart, to sitting down with Fuse to discuss where he thinks he stands in the rap game and to plug his new album, Battle Of The Sexes.
DOCUMENTARY: ADDICTED, TLC, 10 PM
• TLC is breaking into the rehab market with their own take on A&E's documentary series, Intervention. Actually, it sounds more like a carbon copy. Tonight, an alcoholic heroin addict (What's the saying? Liquor before smack makes you...?) hits bottom and heads to rehab. Just say yes, we can't get enough of this stuff.
MOVIE: ME, MYSELF & IRENE, FX, 8 PM
• Of all the movies where Jim Carrey plays characters with alter egos, My, Myself & Irene is undoubtedly the funniest. So can you blame us for making plans to watch it when it runs tonight on basic cable?