Following in the great tradition of the adult entertainment industry repurposing various popular culture themes ( Tiger's Wood, Nailin' Palin, Position Impossible), porn paragon Zero Tolerance Entertainment has announced that an X-rated parody version of MTV's telecrack megabomb Jersey Shore is in the works. And it's going to be called...wait for it...WAIT FOR IT...Jersey Whores.
It may not be "reality TV," but we don't see scripting being a problem on this one. A scene or two happening at a tanning salon, fisting pumping of some sort, and a situation (not to be confused with The Situation) involving "hair gel" a la There is Something About Mary—and voila, an AVN Awards juggernaut is born. Finding the right talent to play Snooki, Sammi Sweetheart, Jolie, and J-WOWW, however, will be a much tougher task...which is where we come in (and many men before us as well). It happens that Complex has already done a full and thorough analysis of the guidettes already, but combine that with our vast knowledge of female adult movie stars, you've got your casting done. So here it goes...
For the role of J-WOWW
Actress: Eva Angelina
Why : We couldn't help but notice J-WOWW's faint resemblance to Emmanuelle Chriqui, but as much as we can dream, Jersey Shore will win an Emmy before the beautiful Entourage star agrees to go full X. So instead, there's Eva Angelina, whose bionic cans are about as subtle as J-WOWW's, and is also similarly rumored to be in possession of a vagina that is a rainbow and pasta treasure.
CLICK HERE TO SEE WHO WILL PLAY JOLIE!
suckitmarshall January 5th, 2010 at 07:44 PM
Solid picks. But somehow I feel like I'd catch less STDs boning the porn stars than the actual cast. Stay Classy, Seaside Heights!
Alex January 6th, 2010 at 10:25 AM
just got this in my inbox from a pr agency -- there's ANOTHER ONE -- from a JERSEY porn star! (she looks just like Snooki on the website) Taryn Thomas to Produce Jersey Shore XXX Adult Film Star, under her production company Taryn It Up Entertainment, to create Series based on popular Reality Television Series Scottsdale, Arizona - Adult star Taryn Thomas and her production company Taryn It Up Entertainment will begin production on Jersey Shore XXX, the adult parody of what is currently the most popular reality television series. AVN Award-winning director Jim Enright is set to direct the series. A native Jersey girl, Thomas saw an incredible opportunity upon flipping through the channels, coming to a stop on MTV’s current reality series. "Back in November, I announced on my Twitter page I was going to do a Jersey Shore adult film parody that would be the biggest and best parody," Thomas explained. "I bought the domain JerseyShoreXXX.com, opened a Jersey Shore XXX Twitter account, and began casting." "My crew and I had already begun production in Seaside Heights, very close to where the actual show is produced," she continued. "It was news to me that we had to speed up production to finish this before anyone else does. Upon our return from the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, we will announce our distribution plans, and unleash my masterpiece of what you only wish MTV would show!" Growing up in New Jersey, Thomas spent almost every summer of her life in Seaside Heights. "It only makes sense that an Italian Guidette from New Jersey would shoot this parody!" she laughed. The cast of Jersey Shore XXX includes Taryn Thomas as Snooki, Veronica Rayne as JWOWW, Richelle Ryan as Angelina, Dylan Ryder as Sammi Sweetheart, TJ Cummings as Pauly D, Espizedo as The Situation, Memphis Blake as Ronnie, and Johnny Castle as Vinny. For more on this movie please go to JerseyShoreXXX.com.
jenni farley August 18th, 2010 at 05:34 PM
ive been around the block a couple times so i know whats up lol, ill admit im a little bit of a party animal just like Jwoww on jersey shore!
Damek September 9th, 2010 at 11:31 AM
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