Album: The Blueprint 3

Directions for usurping a throne: Make an exciting-sounding, but ultimately overpolished and antiseptic beat. Hire the world's biggest R&B star to sing a huge, classic-rock style chorus on it. Sell the whole thing to the greatest rapper of all-time and convince him to release it as a single. Outrap him on it.

How do you outrap Jay Z, though, when he's delivering forever-memorable descriptives like "all-black everything?" How about this: "She got an ass that'll swallow up a G-string/And up top, ah, two bee stings/And I'm beasting off the Riesling/And my nigga just made it out the precinct..." 

Yup, that'll do it. —Dave Bry