The 25 Most Ridiculous Twitter Bots

Bots are one of the worst aspects of the Twitter experience. Who hasn't had a night like this: You gain a new follower, and judging by the avi, it looks like she's pretty cute. She DMs you. She wants to show you her what? You start to get excited. It might be time to bump that Mad Men re-run for a bout of sexting. After a quick glimpse at "her" poor grammar and way-too-high following-to-followers ratio, you realize the sad truth: that account is run by a sweaty, low-rent porn web master in a basement somewhere, and you're not going to be sexting anyone tonight.

There is, however, a bright spot in the generally dark world of Twitter bots. Humorous, clever users have created accounts built around words, phrases, or careful retweets that behave similarly to the obnoxious porn bots, but are after your appreciation instead of your routing number. Whether they are correcting your grammar, mocking your pretension, or trying in earnest to change your perspective, Twitter bots are being used to create some of the most absurd humor on Twitter. Get over the pain of realizing that you newest follower isn't a hot co-ed looking for a three way (and she's not going to get you a free IPad either) and enjoy The 25 Most Ridiculous Twitter Bots.

Followers: 17,475

Just like that dense kid who never quite had a come back in middle school, this bot puts "your mom" in front of any tweet it makes. Sometimes this bot's moves are almost sensible, like "Your mom's eating healthy isn't boring. " Other times, they are completely ridiculous, as is the case with tweets like "Your mom's training Series – Part 2."

Followers: 9,625

Okay, yes, this is an easy one, but that doesn't make it any less awesome. If you type "Beetlejuice" three consecutive times in a tweet, @Betelgeuse_3 will respond with "IT'S SHOWTIME!"

Followers: 276

If you are planning on ever watching Shutter Island or Twin Peaks, we would recommend skipping to the next slide. @EnjoyTheFilm has found one of the funniest and cruelest uses for a Twitter bot: spoiling films and TV shows. Hundreds of unfortunate souls have tweeted that they will be enjoying the above art works on their days off only to have the ending ruined for them. We're sure that we would be super pissed if we got owned by this Twitter bot, but since it didn't happen to us, we have to admit we think it is pretty funny.

Followers: 1,663

We've always been told that there are opportunities all around us, but that doesn't necessarily mean we want them. Most bots that look for a specific word are lame, but there is something almost absurd about all of the different "opportunities" that show up on the Internet and find their way into the @Opportunitweets feed. We haven't combed through them all, but we imagine that penis enlargement and free iPads are opportunities that are offered with some frequency.

Followers: 3,249

Most Twitter bots target a phrase, word, or behavior common to a number of Twitter users; this bot targets only one man. Graphic artist John Harper observed that if you put "Liz Lemon" in front of almost any Kanye West tweet, you'd think you were reading lines from a 30Rock script. We agree ... except Tracy Jordan isn't this vain.

Folowers: 7,085

Just behind the immortal, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die," the Spanish swordsman's second best line in Princess Bride has to be, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." If you type the word "inconceivable" anywhere in a tweet, you might find yourself staring down the rapier-sharp wit of the avenging dualist casting doubt on your mastery of the English language.

Followers: 1,406

Cheese lovers unite and be mocked by whoever runs this account. Whether you are all about that artisinal fromage or you are just trying nurse that hangover with a simple grilled cheese sandwich made from Kraft singles, @allthecheeses may just retweet your cheese loving tweets.

Don't let it cheese you off, becuase if you tweet about it, they'll retweet that one too.

Followers: 9

Yes, this bot is incredibly similar to the immortal @stealthmountain (which you will soon see as we get closer to the peek of this list), but we would be happy if every homophone problem in the English language had its own Twitter feed where we can watch people get intensely angry over having their spelling corrected. Rather than teaching folks the difference between a mountain and a look, this account educates the Twitterati on the difference between a huge antlered mammal and a sweet frothy dessert.

Followers: 210

The only thing more ridiculous than your dreams are other people's dreams. This bot knows this all too well, as it retweets some of the best dreams unnecessarily shared by people on the Internet.

Followers: 415

Apparently, @swear_bot is collecting curse words on the Internet. We aren't sure what this bot's ultimate purpose is exactly, but we do know that it tweets the same thing every time they respond to a tweeter who drops colorful language. @swear_bot went through a period where it threatened to kick people in the uterus and used to scold folks, telling them to "stop f*$@ing swearing." These days, @swear_bot responds to the foul mouthed of the Internet with Michael Scott's favorite line, "That's what she said."

Followers: 31,266

The ridiculousness of this account lies not in the account itself, but in the users it retweets. Logan James gets tons of mileage out of the rationales people use for their racism. "I'm not racist but ..." and "#notracist" are just some of the phrases bigots use in attempts to prove they aren't bigots that this account mocks. Mr. James is doing some great work informing the ignorant of their racism and providing some laughs along the way.

Followers: 57,906

Wouldn't adulthood be so much easier if you had a mentor? For those of you who are not fortunate enough to have a master to teach you the ropes of your chosen path in life, you can have the next best thing: a little advice from a little green man. Mention the Jedi Master / Puppet in a Tweet and write to you with a Star Wars quote he will.

Followers: 17,200

Here's another bot that reveals the ignorance of those it targets. Sure, misusing "your" and "you're" is easy to do. No matter how many times you've used the correct word, it is still all too easy to forget an apostrophe here and there. That being said, if you are going to insist that those who can't speak English shouldn't live in America, you should first master the language.

Followers: 740

Perhaps @HellDudeREAL has a bit too much personality to be branded a bot, but let's say he's half bot, like a Borg or something. @HellDudeREAL's on-again off-again game is to respond with a snarky comment whenever someone uses the phrase "as Hell dude." Generally, these sarcastic quips serve to remind the offending tweeter that they have no concept of Hell's true fury... and that they need use more interesting similes.

Followers: 1,412

There are many hard choices in life. Luckily if you take to Twitter with your dilemmas, a bot may help you with those tough decisions. Whether your are choosing between happiness and sadness or between being "offended" and being "worried about my web browser history" @choose_this isn't afraid to weigh in and make the tough decisions for you, regardless of whether you asked for its input or not.

Followers: 114

On Twitter, as in life, the random is often ridiculous. This account retweets 140 character missives at random from across the Twitterverse, and the results say something about existence...we're just not sure what. Don't bother following @randomRTBot though, the account randomly went inactive in 2010.

Followers: 9,465

Years ago, I was on vacation with a friend's father. He was the model of sophistication. He had a taste for fine wine and classical music. He had the greying pony tail and beard of a hip modern wizard. He even wore black turtle necks without a tinge of irony. One night, there was loud construction outside of our hotel that sounded much like flatulence. He paused, looked up and said, matter of factly, "excuse me."

The point is everyone loves a good fart joke, regardless of how "mature" you may consider yourself. Therefore, any one of you who has anything like a sense of humor will appreciate that when you use the word "fart" in a tweet, you may get retweeted by @fart_robot, who will let you know that "FART ROBOT APPROVES."

Followers: 3,378

Are you hunting for oil paintings? Do you want to see every one being sold online, regardless of quality and subject? Today is your lucky day! If an oil painting is posted on Ebay, this bot is going to put it right into your Twitter feed. Recent finds include Jack Skellington, a rabbi, and a still life with grapes and peaches, all rendered in lovely oils.

Followers: 304

In November of 2010, Twitter lost one of its great shining stars. @Cardinal_Fang was created to pay tribute to Monty Python's immortal "Spanish Inquisition" sketch. If you happened to write the words "Spanish" and "Inquisition" in succession, then you would be not-so-gently reminded that "NOOOOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

Twitter is much emptier without @Cardinal_Fang doing this important work.

Followers: 7,489

If Twitter bots ever become sentient, we would put money on @pentametron becoming their king. The account works via an algorithm that finds and retweets rhyming couplets in iambic pentameter. Ranjit Bhatnagar, the man behind the sonnet composing bot, revealed in an interview with Gawker that he has had to do some tweaking of his algorithm from time to time, particularly when certain phrases that fit his needs, like "I wanna see the Hunger Games again." appear too often.

Followers: 347

Very few Twitter bots strike fear into our hearts, but @botanicalls makes us afraid that a world in which Little Shop of Horrors is a reality might not be too far away. For a small fee, you can put your plant on Twitter, creating your own personal leafy twitter bot to remind you when you have been neglecting your duties as a plant parent.

If you need Botanicalls to remind you to water your houseplant, perhaps it is time to invest in a cactus.

Followers: 9,383

If you mention the dreaded words "Communism" or "Socialism" on even the darkest corners of the Internet, Senator Joseph McCarthy, reincarnated on Twitter, is going to come for you spewing 140 characters of vitriol. He may respond with a general call to action like "Red Storm Rising" or "Circle The Wagons" or he may just call you out for being the pinko you are.

Followers: 16,116

The Internet forces us to endure pretentious musings far more than we may like. This is social media, not Intro. to Philosophy, damn it. Whoever runs @THEUNIVERSE is a white knight to all of you out there who have had more than enough of those who wax philosophical about the universe online. @THEUNIVERSE responds to these existential moments exactly how the Universe should, with snarky sarcasm and disdain.

Followers: 24,321

The user behind @StealthMountain says it best in his description of himself: "I alert twitter users that they typed sneak peak when they meant sneak peek. I live a sad life." Though grammar and spelling nazis on the Internet are about as appealing as porn spam bots, this stealthy one has a place in our homophonic hearts.

Followers: 174,823

Few Twitter accounts, let alone Twitter bots, are a beloved as @horse_ebooks. Bloggers have dissected the account's tweets, journalists have sought out the @horse_ebook's creator (thought to be Russian web developer Alexei Kouznetsov), and a writer has written a book of poems inspired by the account. Even the briefest of glimpses at the work @horse_ebooks, an account created with the earnest, misguided aim of selling low-rent horse-themed e-books, will illustrate why the account has captured the e-harts of so many.

As @horse_ebooks would say, "roses and strings of pearls. Assemble wood products without using power tools. Earn."