Image via Complex Original
It’s no secret that athletes like to party. Always have. Whether they’re in the NFL, NBA, Olympics, MLB, or anything else, there’s no better way for a player to blow off some steam than to go out and have a few drinks with his or her friends. As we all know, though, sometimes these relaxing outings take a decidedly different turn. What was a pleasant buzz turns into a full-on blackout, and thanks to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, et al., not one of these moments goes uncaptured.
When an athlete gets put on blast for partying hard, often public perception swings wildly in one of two directions. Half the time, we shrug and simply let it go (think Rob Gronkowski or legend of drunk photography Kyle Orton). The other half, we lash out with indignation and demand a player get his or her act together (think Johnny Manziel or Michael Phelps). No matter what your stance is on athletes and their partying ways, it’s going to continue from now until the end of time. And every step of the way, anyone with a camera phone will be there to capture each cockeyed smile and half-shut set of unfocused eyes. We present to you here Part II of The Craziest Drunk Athlete Photos in Sports History.
*shouts to drunkathlete.com for some of the photos*
Alex Smith
Even relatively unexciting players like Alex Smith cut loose on spring break, but not all of them turned into dogs while on the trip. No word on if the fellow behind the slobbering Smith is his quarterback coach or simply a well-wisher.
Gijs Van Hoecke
We're pretty sure Gijs Van Hoecke won the award for hardest partying Olympian at the 2012 London Games. The Belgian cyclist got so obliterated after his competition ended that he had to be carried out of the club by his buddies, and was sent home the next day. That hangover on the plane back to Brussels must've been brutal.
Derek Jeter
Even the greats can have too much to drink. What separates Derek Jeter from everyone else is that he makes even the drunk nap look cool. He even managed to keep his beer locked up in his left hand while he caught some Zs. No wonder he's called "The Captain."
Ryan Leaf
Things really haven't gone well for Ryan Leaf since he left Washington State. First, he became the biggest bust in NFL Draft history. Now, he's losing his shirt in public and needing his buddies to hold him upright in bars that look pretty grimy at best. Hopefully, this downward spiral doesn't continue.
Jason Kidd
The fact that Jason Kidd is now in charge of an NBA team makes photos like this one kind of scary. It wasn't all that long ago that the Nets' coach was the one up on tables in the middle of the club. He'll have to clean it up if he wants his new team to make any noise in the East this year.
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Jamal Anderson
Once the master of the Dirty Bird, former Falcons running back Jamal Anderson is now the master of the public pass out. After a few too many with some of his fellow Atlanta locals, he promptly conked out at the bar, falling onto the floor and subsequently being escorted out by security.
Patrick Peterson
Patrick Peterson may be the most dynamic and versatile player the NFL has seen in years, but he's just like many of us when it comes to partying. The guy likes to keep it simple, sipping some kind of mystery concoction from a red Solo cup and just hanging with a buddy. Patrick Peterson: Just like us.
Marshall Henderson
Marshall Henderson likes to party. This much we knew already. Here we get to see the loud mouth shooting guard from Ole Miss as his most genuine self: A completely inebriated fool rubbing arms with some good old fashioned southern frat boys.
Von Miller
An absolute beast for the Broncos, Von Miller is as talented a young pass-rusher. He also isn't afraid to get wild off the field, even if that means he has to remove his shirt to show it. The genuine glee in the final photo of the sequence reveals a man who couldn't be more in his element. Molly and weed are his favorites.
Sean Weatherspoon
Sometimes, when you get drunk at a bar, you think you're a better bartender than the people actually working there. Well, Sean Weatherspoon was a guest bartender decided to get high on his own supply and make a big show of who was in charge.
Andrew Shaw
Andrew Shaw gets additional points here for looking like a horror movie villain, but he was well within his rights to go out and make a fool of himself. After bleeding all over the place in the early stages of Game 6 of the 2013 Stanley Cup Finals, he returned to the ice and helped the Blackhawks knock off the Bruins to win the cup.
Pat McAfee
Punters get no love, but we have to give Pat McAfee credit; The guy has absolutely owned his hilarious public intoxication charge from 2010. Clearly, he still has no reservations about partying.
Dashon Goldson
How do you celebrate signing a five-year, $41.25 million dollar contract with $22 million guaranteed? If you're the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' Dashon Goldson, you crush a bottle of Hennessy and pose completely hammered for photos next to your ex-teammates.
Mark Hunter
Seemingly everyone took an opportunity to cut loose after their Olympic events were over, and Great Britain's Mark Hunter was no exception. He gave an impromptu lap dance to an unsuspecting passenger in his stagecoach leaving the club, and clearly she was none too pleased.
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Todd Helton
Todd Helton probably should've woken up for his mug shot. We can only assume his fatigued stemmed from all the wine he told police officers he had consumed, which also spurred his DUI arrest.
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Wayne Gretzky
Is "The Great One" also a great drinker? If this picture of Wayne Gretzkey is any indication, probably not. The NHL legend looks a little worse for the wear in this photo, and may very well be about to fall off his chair.
Johnny Manziel
If we ignore the fact that he's possibly the most famous 20-year-old in America, Johnny Manziel is really just a normal college kid. And part of being a normal college kid, naturally, is getting lit up and posing for Instagram photos with your buddies. Play on, Johnny Football.
Plaxico Burress
Before he went and shot himself, Plaxico Burress was a regular in the New York club scene. He also liked to use his camera time ostensibly to show off his teeth and how hard he was partying.
Tyler Hansbrough
We're not sure if anyone could look more awkward or goofy in a photo than Tyler Hansbrough does here. The Toronto Raptors' big man is doing himself no favors by clutching a 40 in his hand, revealing the smoking gun in this crime against photography.
Gary Williams
Normally, we wouldn't include a coach in a list of athletes. However, what Maryland basketball coach Gary Williams pulls off here deserves at least honorable mention. We have so many questions: How did he end up alone in a room with two college girls? How did he get so drunk? What the hell is in his right hand? Mysteries, all.
Julius Peppers
A young Julius Peppers certainly didn't love having his picture taken here, although maybe he thought that if he closed his eyes nobody would notice him. Considering Peppers spent much of his college career in the spotlight as a member of both the football and basketball teams at UNC, we're not surprised he wanted the cameras out of his face when he was off the field.
Larry Johnson
When he was a household name and one of the top running backs in the NFL, Larry Johnson certainly liked to party. That apparently included random sorority houses, where the former Penn State Nittany Lion played it cool despite barely being able to keep his eyes open.
Andris Biedrins
When you get absolutely paid like Andris Biedrins does without having to do any actual work, hitting the club is a given. We love this photo especially because he so clearly relishes the opportunity for someone to notice him for anything other than being one the league's most overpaid players.
Craig Sager
Who says sideline reporters can't have fun too? Craig Sager, who still enjoys wearing positively heinous outfits even when not at work, looks like he may actually be in a coma in this photo. The bros next to him don't seem to care all that much though.
Matt Leinart
It's a comfort to know that even if you're a complete draft bust, you can still be popular with the ladies. Matt Leinart apparently still has it, getting up close and personal with all manner of college girls.
Josh Hamilton
Josh Hamilton's history with drugs and alcohol is well known, as are his battles with staying sober in the sea of debauchery professional athletes often find themselves in. Looks like he may need to add whipped cream to the list of things he shouldn't be around.
Brett Lawrie
Edward 40 Hands is a classic drinking game, if that's your scene. Apparently, it's also played north of the border, as we see here from the very expressive look on Toronto Blue Jays third baseman Brett Lawrie's face. We must say, though, that we're disappointed he didn't go for both hands. Typical Canada.
Jay Cutler
Never the most affable of athletes, Jay Cutler at least looks a little friendlier here as he's out on the town with friends. Or maybe he's just doing his best imitation of a squirrel. Either way, he looks a lot more fun to be around than he normally does.
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Patrick Kane
When he isn't assaulting cab drivers, Patrick Kane also likes to party. At this particular event, the two-time Stanley Cup winner headed up to the University of Wisconsin and partied so hard that he later passed out on the bar.
Rob Gronkowski
There's no shortage of drunk Rob Gronkowski photos in circulation, and for good reason. The Patriots' goofy tight end simply loves to party, and doesn't care who knows it. People may complain, but hey, at least he didn't kill anybody.
Miguel Cabrera
Uh, Miguel? This is a mug shot. You just got arrested for a DUI. Probably not the best time to have that shit-eating grin on your face. Fortunately for Cabrera, he's since gotten his life turned around and no longer poses for pictures like this one.
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Ryan Lochte
To be fair, Ryan Lochte has this look of general bewilderment on his face a lot. It's the look of someone whose brain cells have long since drowned in a sea of chlorine. But since he was also leaving a club here, we have to assume alcohol got into the mix as well.
Tiger Woods
It's conceivable that this cameraman happened to catch Tiger Woods at a bad moment where he simply looked obliterated. However, based on all accounts of the 2013 Met Gala, we're going to say that's unlikely. The glazed over eyes and maniacal look reveal just how loaded the normally reserved Tiger got, and we ain't mad at him.
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James Harden
Tons of athletes party on their birthdays. James Harden is no exception, and now that he's become a star for the Houston Rockets everyone wants a piece. We have to say, if this photo is any indication, we're big fans of the female-to-male ratio at this party.
Wade Boggs
Wade Boggs was on vacation in Mexico, and naturally he decided to spend one night crashing a wedding. Clad only in a Tommy Bahama shirt and mom jeans, the legendary 64 beer drinker arrived at the wedding and immediately began hitting on the groom's pregnant friend. Hall of Fame indeed.
Brad Marchand
The other half (along with Tyler Seguin) of the Bruins' post-Stanley Cup party duo, Brad Marchand spent essentially a week completely annihilated and without a shirt. Photos like this one became commonplace as seemingly everyone in Boston had a buddy who did shots with the Bruins' pesky winger.
Kyle Orton
To be fair, Kyle Orton looks kind of drunk all the time. This time, though, he decided to show his tender loving side at the same exact moment his left eye forgot to work. Bears and Broncos fans know this look pretty well by now, as they got to see it on the field every Sunday.
Desmond Bryant
Desmond Bryant is the prohibitive favorite for mug shot of the year, and quite frankly it isn't close. The Browns' new defensive tackle got so drunk that he tried to break into a house that he thought was his, only the family living there was present for the entire thing and Bryant wasn't even on the right street.
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Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan has a free pass to do pretty much anything he wants. If he decides to get hammered drunk and then get right in the camera's face, so be it. Considering his eyes are practically the same color as his shirt, we're guessing MJ might've had some other substance contributing to this wild night, too.
