All this time, we knew there was a simple explanation as to why Lawrence Taylor—a married man, mind you—was stupid enough to get arrested last May on charges of felony statutory rape after he got busted gallivanting with a 16-year-old chick in a New Jersey hotel room. Turns out, when it comes to his jumpoffs, LT "doesn't card them" and "doesn't ask for their birth certificate." Sigh. That's what he told FOX News yesterday shortly after receiving six years probation for patronizing a prostitute and sexual misconduct. Well, LT: After this whole thing, maybe you should. Or, better yet, maybe you should start acting like the best NFL linebacker of all-time and stop kicking it with working girls. SMFH. [via SportsGrid]