In his home, Michael Vick is inmate #000001.
There's no place like home for imprisoned NFL QB Michael Vick. Besides prison, that is. The onetime Atlanta Falcons star, who's currently serving a 23-month sentence at Leavenworth's federal penitentiary for financing a dogfighting operation run out of his Virginia home, will spend the final two months of his bid under home confinement because the local halfway house is full.
While a multi-millionaire athlete's crib is clearly a step up from a cell, Vick will no doubt start to go stir crazy as the days wear on and he can't step foot past the electronic perimeter. In the spirit of forgiveness, Complex has five things that Vick can do to take his mind off of his confinement as he counts down the days to freedom. After all, there's no need to dog the man... Too soon?
#5: Become The Black Bob Vila.
• Vick could make a lot of home improvements during two months of house arrest. Film it and he has the perfect vehicle with which to win back hearts and minds. Seriously, how could PETA nuts continue their campaign against Vick when they see him installing ramps and special doggy doors for the crippled strays he plans to adopt on MTV's This Old Crib?
#4: Become A Wii Fit Expert.
• Before getting back into a full-scale NFL workout program, Vick could use a break from the standard prison workout, which basically involved building his ass into an impenetrable fortress. Plus it's much more productive than breaking out the PS2 to play Madden NFL 2004 and remember how very far he's fallen.
#3: Invite Neighborhood Dogs Over To Watch Lassie, Beethoven & Air Bud.
• Vick needs to do everything he can to show the world that the only beef he has with dogs is the fresh batch of delicious jerky snacks he makes for them when he hosts sleepovers.
#2: Bankroll The New & Improved Bad Newz Kennels, Only This Time Vick's "Bitches" Are Well-Paid Female Jell-O Wrestlers.
• Who's gonna take offense at that wholesome family fun?
#1: Attempt To Slip The Electronic Monitor Bracelet Off & Put It On His Brother Marcus Vick Instead.
• That guy's a dick and didn't even revolutionize the QB position (unless you're counting arrests-to-snaps ratio).