Image via Complex Original
You are trapped in the back seat of your parents' car. Your Gameboy is out of batteries. You have plowed through every Animorphs, Goosebumps, and Redwall book in your arsenal. You've already listened to your lone Now That's What I Call Music album so many times that the words to Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy" are forever burned into your brain. What do you do? What do you do?
Odds are that you play some dumb game that drives your parents insane. We all fondly remember those backseat games that reliably devolve into a shouting match or physical violence between siblings. Let's spy, punch, and question our way through the 10 Car Games You Played as a Kid When You Were Bored on Road Trips.
10. The ABC Game
The Rules: Name something that you see that starts with the letter "A". Name something that you see that starts with the letter "B"." Continue through the entire alphabet. First person to "Z" wins.
Likely, this contest will be in a dead heat until you get to the middle of the alphabet. You'll probably slow down a bit in "J,K,L" territory, and only the most observant among us can roll through "Q" without hesitation. We recommend brushing up on your bird watching game so you'll know a quail when you see one.
9. Hold Your Breath in the Tunnel
The Rules: Upon entering a tunnel, passengers hold their breath. Whoever holds their breath the longest, and/or holds their breath through the length of the tunnel, wins.
Parents love this game because if you pass out for a while after holding your breath too long, everybody wins. Unless you're the driver, then everybody loses.
8. Count the ...
The Rules: Identify an object that you will see often on your journey: cars, birds, and telephone poles are common choices. Keep count of how many you see.
Some games should only be played as a last resort: "Count the ..." is one of those games. Counting to yourself will likely lull you deeper into boredom, as the monotony of counting an endless line of telephone poles will only serve to make you feel more like an automotive prisoner. Counting out loud will surely infuriate your parents, who will be more likely to ground you when you come home late from playing Goldeneye at Jimmy's house.
You have been warned.
7. Thumb Wrestling
The Rules: Players face each other, then link opposing hands, keeping their thumb "up." The goal is to to pin your opponent's thumb for three seconds. In the interest of fair play, a match usually begins with "1,2,3,4 I declare a thumb war" to remove any unfair element of surprise.
When you are in a thumb wrestling phase, you will fill any amount of free time with a match. These phases are usually short-lived, however, as an arms race develops between you and your competitor. Very quickly, players resort to using unfair leverage and extra fingers to gain an edge.
In pursuit of victory by any means necessary, it is so easy to forget that rules are what separate us from the animals.
6. Two Truths and A Lie
The Rules: When it's your turn, you state three "facts" about yourself. One of them is made up. It is up to the other players to determine which of these "facts" is actually a lie.
This game could also be called "realize how truly boring your life is." Most of us have had far fewer interesting things happen to us than we'd like to think. We would like to go back in time and tell our younger selves that going backstage at a Hootie and the Blowfish concert or having our appendix taken out isn't actually interesting. Keep your lies mundane in this game or no one will believe them.
5. Twenty Questions
The Rules: One player thinks of something, anything at all. The other players ask twenty questions about that thing, after which time they must make a guess as to what that thing is.
The answer is almost always an attractive pop star or an actor, so, if any of today's youth are reading this, we suggest that you think outside the box. Pick something like "Shrödinger's Cat" or "bellybutton lint." Another pro tip: don't just use your questions on guesses, unless you're totally sure. If you start using your questions on guesses too soon, you'll be out of questions before you know it.
4. Never Have I Ever
The Rules: Each player begins with three (or more) fingers in the air. Players take turns stating "Never Have I Ever [shocking/titillating action]." If you are guilty of said action, put down one of your fingers. Last person with fingers up wins, but also is probably a loser in life.
"Never Have I Ever" is one of those games that you play as a teenager, after you've grown out of actual games and start looking for excuses to say or do sexual things. You'll also notice that around this age, all of the other games on this list now become "strip" versions of the game. American teenagers spend most of their free time in cars trying to convince each other to take their clothes off. This is a large part of what makes America great.
3. I Spy
The Rules: One player begins by saying, "I spy with my little eye, something [description of object]." The other players attempt to guess the object.
I spy with my little eye a game that is ridiculously difficult to play in a vehicle moving at high speeds. And why did somebody always end up saying, "I spy with my little eye something blue," and not expect the other person to guess "SKY?"
2. License Plate Game
The Rules: When you see a license plate from a state, call it out. The player who recognizes the most state plates by the time you reach your destination wins.
This one should be reserved only for long road trips. We remember the unbridled joy of spotting one Hawaii or Montana after hours spent in a sea of local license plates. This game is at its best when you catch ridiculous vanity plates. Here's to you, "BJLVR69."
1. Punch Buggy
The Rules: If you see a Volkswagen Beetle, call out "Punch Buggy, [color of vehicle]!" This earns you one punch on another player. Be sure to follow this up with "No punch backs!" or you will be punched back. Also Known As: "Slug Bug."
Here is a game that follows in the grandest tradition of children's backseat pastimes: using any excuse to inflict violence on your fellow man. There are numerous variations on this game. For example, sometimes the punch-causing object is a car with one headlight out. In that case, the game is called "spadiddle" or "paddidle." We bet a version of this game has been played with any relatively rare road trip sight, as, again, humans will use any excuse to hit each other.
