The word "ratchet" may be played out, but until the Internet agrees upon a more accurate description for these crimes, it will have to do. These stories are sad, imaginative, and they inspire us to have conversations about race, class, and the American dream.
This week's roundup includes public masturbation, selling counterfeit goods, and punching a hole through a $10 million painting. Each crime is rated on our Ratchet Meter, a base-10 logarithmic scale modeled after a similar system developed by Charles Richter—except that the Ratchet Meter has nothing to do with science because it's not actually a real thing.
Read on for the best of the worst ratchet crimes in America. Proceed with caution, stay safe, don't try this at home, and send your tips to cityguidetips@complex.com.
And for your viewing pleasure, here's the Ratchet News Network with The Kid Mero:
RNN: Ratchet News Network
Teen Charged for Killing Father with Crossbow Following Argument About Cutting School
Date: 12/12/2014
Location: Harrington, Del.
Crime: First degree murder
Ratchet Meter: 6
A Delaware teenager has been arrested for allegedly killing his father with a crossbow following an argument about ditching school.
According to ABC Philadelphia, an investigation into the death of Todd Ramsey began on Thursday morning after the 41-year-old missed a few days of work. When police arrived at his Harrington, Del. home, his 17-year-old son, Seth Ramsey, reportedly told investigators that he might've been responsible for his father's death. When police discovered the elder Ramsey's body inside of his bedroom, they noted an injury to his upper torso.
During questioning, Seth told police that he shot his father with a crossbow because the man confronted him over his decision to skip school on Tuesday:
According to the police affidavit, the teen told police he had skipped classes Tuesday at Lake Forest High School and stayed home.
He said that his father was in his bedroom from 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Seth said that he knew when his father came out he would be mad so he shot him, the affidavit said.
Seth Ramsey was charged with first-degree murder and is being detained at a juvenile detention center without bail.
[via ABC Philadelphia]
Father and Sons with Variation of Same Name Savagely Beat Man After Funeral
The NYPD Seized $2.2 Million Dollars Worth of Fake Chanel, Nike, and Louis Vuitton
Someone Actually Thought They Could Steal $1 Million Worth of Nike LeBron 12s
Republican Politician Ed Cox Knocks Over and Smashes a Vase Worth $70K
Date: 12/11/2014
Location: New York, N.Y.
Crime: N/A
Ratchet Meter: 4
Some pretty cringe-worthy moments took place at Art Basel this year, but this story regarding Republican politician Ed Cox and a $70k vase has us flinching in secondhand embarrassment.
According to the NY Post, Cox accidentally toppled over and smashed a 4-foot-tall antique vase at a breakfast hosted by the CEO of Bank of America. The Post's Page 6 reported on the mortifying moment with accounts from witnesses who attended the event. It sounds like a party-goer's worst nightmare.
“ ... It fell to the floor and shattered with a terrible, piercing, sound which stopped the entire room.” The source added, “Ed nervously tried to edge away from the wreckage while the event staff looked mortified."
Someone reportedly even called out "Oh my God, that was a $70,000 vase!" Ironically, the gathering was organized to raise money for the restoration of the artwork inside St. Patrick's Cathedral. Yikes.
Fortunately for Cox, he won't be asked to pay for the destroyed artwork.
At least this was an accident. Remember the protester who purposely dropped one of Ai Weiwei's Han dynasty vases earlier this year? That dude faced a lot more trouble for his actions.
[via Art Net News]
Man Goes to Jail for Punching a Hole in a Monet Painting Worth $10 Million
Date: 12/6/2014
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Crime: Vandalism
Ratchet Meter: 5
The Idiot of the Year Award goes to a man who thought it'd be a good idea to punch a hole through a Claude Monet masterpiece.
While visiting the National Gallery of Ireland in 2012, 49-year-old Andrew Shannon attacked Monet's Argenteuil Basin with a Single Sailboat, ramming his fist through the canvas and leaving a hole in the lower left corner. Just like that, an artwork worth nearly $10 million was destroyed.
After Shannon's arrest, he told authorities his attack was an attempt to "get back at the state." At his trial, however, Shannon claimed the incident was a mere accident, explaining that he had "felt faint" and had fallen into the work of art—a likely story.
Members of a jury found him guilty of intentionally wrecking the painting after watching security footage of what had happened. Judging from this still below, we'd say dude looks pretty guilty.
Just yesterday, a court finally sentenced the vandal to five years in prison. After his release, Shannon won't be allowed inside any galleries for 15 months. As for the damaged painting? The Impressionist work has since been restored and placed beneath a layer of protective glass.
[via Metro UK]
