OMG fat kid in the bear costume of the Lost Boys, you can't just ask people "What Makes the Red Man Red?" Oh, in 1953 you could? You could even have a full musical number about it? Jeez, you racists little monsters, no wonder you're orphans.

While passing the peace pipe to children, we learn why the "red man" says "how," when they first said "ugg," and ultimately, what made the red man red. Spoiler alert: it was because the first Native American prince blushed from kissing a girl and they, as a people, have been blushing ever since.