Adult Film Star Asa Akira's 10 Steps to Becoming A Boss

Asa Akira is one of the highest-grossing porn stars on earth. Her net worth exceeds $1.5 million. For starters, she’s one of the most-wanted performers in the biz. After working as a dancer and later a Dominatrix in New York City, she began starring in adult films. Over the course of her career she’s been named AVN Performer of the Year, and racked up wins for the Best Double Penetration scene three years in a row. Yes, there is an award for that.

Asa figured out how to monetize her image for a successful digital presence before most retail brands even knew what e-commerce was. Ever expanding her enterprise, Akira went on to monetize her actual body parts and created a custom fleshlight in her own image. It received the 2012 TLA Raw Award for "Best Sex Toy." More recently Asa has taken her talents behind the camera as a film director for Elegant Angel. She's directed eight projects to date with big plans for more in the future.

In 2014 Asa adds author to her long list of impressive titles. It’s a fitting development following up her first job at Barnes and Noble in New York City. The book store clerk-turned-writer’s first book is called Insatiable: Porn, A Love Story. It’s one of the most compelling memoirs we’ve read in some time, filled with tales about Asa’s early days in the porn industry. From first experiences stripping down on camera to the personal relationships she gained along the way, Insatiable contains a wealth of lessons about sex, self respect, and how to handle your business. Even if you’re not a regular non-fiction reader, this is a book you’re going to want to pick up.

While there are many things Asa Akira can probably teach us about holding it down in the bedroom—what we should actually glean from her is knowledge about how to hold it down in the boardroom. Asa will be signing copies of Insatiable at the official book launch May 8 at The Hundreds store in NYC. Before you stop by to grab your copy, brush up on Asa Akira’s 10 Steps Towards Becoming A Boss.

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“I think in any business you're in, whether it be porn or an office job or anything, the same rules apply. Be on time. Respecting other people's time is so key and it really does go a long way. When someone is late to meet me I'll treat them differently than if they show up a little early, almost subconsciously. It just changes things. I think that's pretty important. I guess in porn, it's just a respect thing. We try to stay clean for our scene partners and you know, a little goes a long way.”

The takeaway: It doesn’t matter what line of work you’re in, being on time is a necessary way to show your coworkers and bosses the respect they deserve. People will think less of you if you are late. Especially Asa Akira.

"Always have your own shit so you can be prepared to shoot. Every girl has their porno suitcase. Basically, you have your standard lingerie sets, which you should bring with you on any set. Even if you're wearing an outfit, you're probably going to put on lingerie under it. Plus, whatever specific outfit they ask you to bring. A toothbrush with toothpaste. I have baby wipes. I bring baby wipes with me everywhere I go. It's not just porn—like, anywhere in life. I bring my baby wipes. An extra phone charger."

The takeaway: Never walk onto the job without the things you need. Whether it’s a resume, a phone charger, work boots, or lingerie, have it on deck. No one is going to look out for you but yourself. And of course, go get your wet wipes.

“I'm a very competitive person, which is something kind of ugly about myself, but if it weren't for that I wouldn't be as successful as I am today. Because I'm so competitive I always stay really driven. If I see another girl doing really well I will think, 'What do I need to do to get there?' It has definitely helped me, I think it's healthy in the business to be competitive.“

The takeaway: Don’t get concerned when the people around you are making strides, use that energy to make bigger strides for yourself. A little competitive edge can go a long way.

“I was very fortunate when I got in the industry to have a friend in porn, Gina Lynn. She showed me the ropes and taught me things as simple as, ‘Douche before your scene and always pee after sex.’ I'm very lucky because I think most girls don't have that.

“Now every time I'm with a new girl that I vibe with I give her my number and I'm like, ‘Text me if you need anything.' I really mean it. I want this to be a good experience for girls. I think porn, for the right type of person, is a perfect job. If you're promiscuous and a hyper-sexual person, this is the safest way to play that out. You're working with tested people in a controlled environment and it can be a really positive experience. It can also be a really negative one if you get in with the wrong people, your agent takes advantage of you, or you work for a company that treats you like shit. It can ruin your life, it's traumatizing. I definitely try to pay that forward.”

The takeaway: Everybody has to start somewhere, but you don’t have to figure out all the tricks of the trade yourself. Find a mentor who can help you navigate unwritten rules and tacit etiquette you can’t find on an Internet list. If you’re in the position to help a young gun, do it. Not everyone knows how important it is for girls to pee after sex from the get-go.

“Just never feel like you've 'made it.' You're never really at the top. Even if you're the CEO of your own company, you could still be the CEO of the best company. Honestly, I was making enough money as a performer that I didn't need to take it to the next level at all. I wanted to broaden my horizons and start directing; I can't perform forever. I won't look like this forever, I don't want to look like this forever. I don't want to be doing granny porn. I think it's really important to be thinking of the future and what you should be doing next, not falling into the trap of being comfortable with whatever you're doing.”

The takeaway: Promise you will never stop going in. Just because you’re popping bottles once every few months with your friends doesn’t mean you’ve achieved all you are capable of. A true boss doesn’t stop until total world domination is complete. You could be popping bottles every night.

“I am so, so thankful I got into porn at 23. I see a lot of these 18 year old girls getting into porn. They come from living with their parents, never having to pay a bill in their lives, and then all of a sudden they are treated like a star on set, from day one. They are making thousands of dollars in a day—how are they supposed to know how to manage their money? That's not even realistic for them to know to save their money. Like, why would they? I went through all of that, I was a stripper in New York, I was a dominatrix, I spent all of my money before I got into porn, and I learned my lessons. So now that I'm in porn, I like saving money.

"For me, transferring money into my savings account feels like I'm buying something. I think if you just put yourself in that mindset it feels good to save money. I feel like I just bought a new purse when I put money into my bank account.”

The takeaway: Blowing every dollar you make on the Kanye for Adidas collection only makes you look cool for a second. Saving money so that you can buy matching Lamborghini Aventadors for you and your daughter makes you look cool for generations to come. Learn to save.

“After getting into porn I realized I like being dominated by men or women. Sexually, I like that, but I think in non-sexual relationships or business, I'm a little bit more bossy. I think that comes from being an only child and knowing what I want. That's something that just comes with age. It's about knowing what you want and going for it.”

The takeaway: Sexual proclivities aside, being dominant is a learned skill that helps you get what you want. Boss up and speak your mind.

“It's happened twice to me in the time I've been in porn that I really didn't vibe with someone. I put them on my "no" list on the way home. We have a list of people we just won't work with. It's not a questionable list, it just no means no. We hand that into our agents and we will never be booked with that person again. One of the guys I put on my "no" list just really didn’t vibe with me. I didn't feel like he was into anything I was into, it just wasn't working out. The other just really creeped me out. I got a really bad vibe from him.

“At the same time porn is a business. Something my agent reminds me about all the time, when I try to put someone on my "no" list he's like, 'Remember, this isn't a dating service, it is a job.' It's true for any job. As long as more than half your days are happy, you're good. Same with a relationship, if you're miserable more than half the time then get the fuck out.”

The takeaway: Saying no is a right that helps you protect the integrity of your work. Creative differences can be irreconcilable, that’s okay. You shouldn’t shy away from productive collaboration, even if the road is hard. But sometimes it just comes down to not fucking with certain people. Especially if you're dating that person and you hate your life more than half the week. Put 'em on the "no" list.

“I think you can make yourself like anything; you can kind of turn it into a game. If I'm not into the person I'm working with, I try to force it. I try to find something I like about them and force a connection and chemistry. It becomes this fun little thing. You can make yourself like anything really. If you can't, then it's probably not for you.”

The takeaway: Nobody likes the officemate who complains all day about how hard their life is. Find the parts of your work that you enjoy, and take pride in the challenge of getting it done. Yes, it is probably easier to convince yourself to enjoy having sex every day when that’s part of your line of work. Then again, you probably never have to suck a dick you’re not interested in. So take joy in that.

“My website is really important. The website, my Fleshight—these are the deals we're working towards. We don't get royalties, we're paid for the scene and then we're done and that's it. We don't make any money after that from our movies. When you get things like your Fleshlight and your website, those are things that make you money for a long time to come, even after you retire. Lets say one month you catch chlamydia and you can't work, you still have your website or your Fleshlight to fall back on so you're not starving.”

The takeaway: Nothing is certain. It’s always good to have a side hustle to keep the money flowing, even when you’re killing your main hustle. Just because you don’t have what it takes to create a sex toy modeled after your genitals doesn’t mean you can’t find your niche.