Distinguishing features: Missing shoe; whiskey-stained shirt; black eye 

There's a thin line between turning up and acting like a lobotomized version of David Hasselhoff. That line is typically crossed while pissing one's self in the back of a police car. It's impossible to make friends when your brain shuts down to its most vital functions because all you can really do is vomit and thrash about the dance floor to Pitbull. Ke$ha is the only one who can get away with that kind of behavior, bruh.