Upworthy is the epitome of Internet lameness. These videos crowd our Facebook feeds with sappy, overwrought headlines courtesy of friends from high school who buy Yankee Candles and have their own Etsy stores. Yes, Upworthy is annoying, but one of the reasons we are so annoyed is that the site has become ubiquitous on the Internet in the last half of 2013. This site (and its legion of clones) has found the formula for shoving simplified, digestible liberalism down our throats, and the glut shows no signs of slowing. Upworthy, like Bitstrips and Farmville, show us that there are two paths to Internet dominance. You can be a cool kid, and depend on blogs, Reddit, and Twitter for fame, or you can court the audience that isn't quite as tech savvy, not nearly as plugged-in, and far more boring. Not everyone is a hip blogger; some people look to the Internet for nothing more than to see a girl play a piano, end racism, and restore our faith in humanity all in one minute-long video.