20 Places to Meet Women That Aren't Bars

There are many reasons not to talk to women in coffee shops. Dropping a pick-up line over a cappachino is almost as cliché as chatting up a woman in a bar. Ladies often visit their barista to escape their apartment and get work done in peace. Urban coffee shops are often more crowded than public buses. While all of this is true, coffee shops are also a public space where attractive, intelligent women congregate, and let's face it, there aren't very many. Swallow your pride and approach with caution. If she is typing frantically on her laptop or reviewing papers that look like they might be part of her job, maybe hold off. If after you introduce yourself she doesn't seem into it, do the polite thing and fuck off. Live to sip that latté another day. Finally, beware of spitting game if you are a regular. If she commonly frequents the spot as well, you're setting yourself up to relive your rejection every time you order that dark roast.

A word of caution: you are not getting laid here the way you think you're getting laid here. High school is over and even if you were the star receiver back in the day, now you are a star used car salesman who gets winded walking from the lot to your office. Even if you're still in peak physical condition, being a gym class hero won't impress ladies who haven't stepped foot in a locker room in years. The way to meet women in your softball league is to be a good sport. Show that you're a fun guy who is there to have a good time. Whether you hit a grand slam or that batting average drops below your bowling average, handle it with grace. Your teammates who are still wearing their mental varsity jackets might have better statistics, but just remember that the only numbers that matter are entered into your phone after the game's over.

It doesn't matter if you don't smoke. Look for a friend in the office and keep them company as they take that long march outside for their nicotine fix. It is likely your boy is already acquainted with his fellow smokers and can give you the introduction that you need. Even if the smoky lady of your dreams isn't feeling you at first, she is still going to stay until she finishes her cigarette. She didn't leave the spreadsheet she was working on and take an elevator down fifteen floors to not finish that American Spirit. Obviously, this is a bad move if smoking is a deal breaker for you, unless she is also a non-smoker looking for love. Be careful how often you try this maneuver. You might start to look suspicious after you make multiple trips wihotut lighting up.

By now, even the least politically aware among you has heard about the U.S. Postal Service's continued woes. The post office's terrible, terrible loss is your gain. As post offices around the country continue to cut costs and staffing reaches the level of your local Rite-Aid, the lines get longer and longer. Don't sit and bitch about the wait like every other impatient package shipper in line: get pro-active. In the several hours you're going to spend waiting at least one attractive woman will walk in. Casually work your way toward her and strike up a conversation with the letter-bearing lady. This is another one of those situations where you have a built-in conversation starter. What's in the box? You can tell her whatever you want. "Oh, you know just sending out some final revisions to the Constitution of the small island nation of which I'm the dictator. No big deal." Don't use that line. That's ours. But, you get the picture.

Don't worry, it's not required that your broke ass actually buy something for this to be an effective female meeting spot. You just have to go to a place where the customers are passionate about the product, then ask for a female opinion on a potential purchase. If you walk into a Target and ask a female customer for her thoughts on your shopping cart's contents, she'll think you're crazy. "Should I get this shitty lamp that's going to break in two weeks or this shitty lamp that's going to break in two week?" No one's buying that. Say you're in a high-end clothing store, and you just aren't sure about whether to go with the merlot or charcoal cardigan. A fashionable lady might be flattered if you ask for her opinion. This approach can work in any type of store from Williams-Sonoma to Home Depot, provided you ask the right lady for advice, and you're willing to listen.

Once you don that cap and gown and that piece of paper is firmly in hand, you may have the impulse to swear off classes for good. Shun further education if you must, but you aren't hurting anyone but yourself. Yes, education is a lifelong journey or whatever, but you are also squandering a great opportunity to meet women. Whether you opt to take up improv, pottery, or animal husbandry, there will likely be ladies who share your passion. The rules of recreational sports etiquette should be applied here as well: don't try to be the alpha male at the kiln. If you are already awesome at this pastime prior to enrollment, why aren't you teaching the class? Enrolling in a course teaching something you've already mastered wastes your time and ladies will see through it like Lululemon yoga pants. If you're here, that means you've got something to learn. Hold back on the need to be tops in the class. Simply enjoy the course. It might even be better if you struggle a little bit: you'll have a built in excuse to ask for a little after class assistance.

It is tempting to pick up women on public transportation. You will meet females on the bus or train that you would never run into at work or at your local watering hole. Just be sure to observe the context of the situation before you make a pass. If she has donned her hater blockers, glued her eyes to her Candy Crush game, and has her headphones placed firmly in-ear, then it might mean that she doesn't want to talk to anyone right now. If you manage to make eye contact or even exchange a smile, then she might be open to a conversation. Make it quick and casual, and if she isn't feeling it, make sure you have your escape route planned. There is nothing like being forced to remain next to a failed pick-up for seven more stops. If she is into it, make sure you get her number before her stop comes up and she has to dash off of the subway, as you won't get a second chance.

Sometimes we wander far and wide only to discover that what we were looking for was right in front of us the whole time. Obviously, this doesn't work if you still live at home with the 'rents and lack an Oedipal complex, but for those of you who have moved out on your own, there might be some beauties in your own apartment building. So much of our time living in cities is spent strategizing what bar, restaurant, or club we're going to hit up; it's easy to forget that hundreds of people might live on your block, or even in your building. Keep an eye out in the lobby, in the elevator, and on the fire escape. If you notice that a lovely lady lives just down the hall, look for an opportune (i.e. not totally creepy) moment to borrow a cup of sugar. Don't actually borrow sugar, that's just an expression. Unless, or course, you actually bake, then that might be a good move. Look, regardless of whether we are talking about real or metaphorical sugar, grow a pair and talk to her.

You should probably only attempt this one if you're already pretty into politics. Also, it is a good idea to work for a candidate who you actually agree with. Once you've taken care of these sticking points, you're ready to meet your new politically active partner. Whether you're canvassing door to door, manning the phones, or placing signs on neighborhood lawns, you should be able to get some face time with any female co-workers that catch your eye if you play your cards right. An important tip: stay away from the intern that your candidate is sexually harassing, unless you want to end up on CNN in three months describing the sordid love triangle that unfolded on the campaign trail. Don't be seduced by the lure of back to back Today Show and Good Morning America appearances: if you pull that card once, it will be harder to hook up on your next campaign job.

Don't fear these places, you uncultured swine. If you complain that you don't meet more intelligent, sophisticated women, yet continue to hang out at Buffalo Wild Wings instead of the local art museum, we can't help you. Put on a decent pair of pants and go out and try to appreciate the finer things in life. You're worried about sounding stupid? Don't be: one of the best things about art is that no opinion is invalid, so don't be afraid if a woman asks for your thoughts on a work. Even if you do sound like an idiot, sharply focusing on an aspect of the picture and nodding vigorously can save you. Museums are criminally under-attended, so do a little research before you go, and you might find a museum luring in patrons with wine, live music, or discounted tickets. Just be prepared: if you meet her at an art museum, she may want to go back to art museums in the future, so make sure you at least enjoy at the experience a little bit.

No, we aren't receiving kickbacks in the form of organic produce and kombucha: Whole Foods is the best grocery store for meeting women, hands down. We have much love for Trader Joe's and will continue to actually purchase our groceries at a normal grocery store because it is cheaper than both of them, but if we are shopping for a date rather than shopping for dates (you know, like the shriveled plum?), we're hitting up Whole Foods. Hate on their prices all you want. Look, no one is telling you to break the bank on a wheat berry quinoa waldorf salad if you don't want one. Just take this challenge: walk into your local Whole Foods and tell me (@muddycreekU on Twitter) you didn't see the finest yoga pant wearing, elegantly-mussed-up-ponytail having, eco-conscious tote carrying babes you've ever seen. What are you waiting for? You can even have your first dinner date in the weird food court area. There's plenty of stewed veggies and grains at the buffet just waiting to be picked at and thrown away.

Let us go on the record saying that you should do all you can to avoid inter-office romantic entanglements. We could (and probably will, let's be real) write a list of all of the reasons that workplace affairs are a mistake. Someone else's workplace, however: fair game. It is going to be difficult for you not to look awesome at someone else's office party or after work cocktail hour. When co-workers get together, all they talk about is work. Since you don't work with them, you are in the perfect position to liberate a young lady from yet another conversation about earnings reports and quarterly expectations. Even talking about the weather or Breaking Bad will feel fresh if it gets her away from dreaded work talk. If you find yourself in some inescapable workplace gossip, simply agree with the majority with phrases like, "I don't know much about [insert field here] but [person they are talking about] seems really off base with his position on [humdrum workplace task]." She'll be giving you a tour of her cubicle in no time.

This is a very similar move to chatting up women in museums or art galleries, but you get fresh air and you can avoid any admission fees. The key here is to muse loudly enough about the work that you seem thoughtful, but not so loudly that you seem like a crazy person. On second thought, dress better than usual if you are going to try to flirt in front of some public art, as not be mistaken for a vagrant. If the lovely lady who has paused to check out the modern art doesn't hear you singing the praises of the work, lean over and say something like, "beautiful isn't it?" or "and they used taxpayer dollars for this?" depending on the political climate of the neighborhood and how expensive her purse looks. Then, get away from the topic of the sculpture as quickly as possible, as you probably have nothing intelligent to say about it anyway.

Who has dinner parties, you ask? The answer is any of your friends in a long-term relationship: they just don't know it yet. Every couple starts to feel like they don't get out enough when they are in a long-term relationship. Remind them that sitting on the couch, eating take-out Chinese food, and binge-watching Parenthood together is not a good social look. Before you know it, she'll be busting out the finest dinnerware Ikea has to offer and your boy will be boning up on his de-boning skills. There are two major negatives to meeting ladies at a dinner party. The first hurdle is the limited sample size. It's probably an ancient proverb, and if it isn't, it should be: a dinner party is only as big as the table. Though you'll get to know the female guests very well, you're also only likely going to meet three to five ladies. Increase your odds by not mentioning to the hosts that you are looking to date. Without fail, they will try to set you up, and without fail, the set-up will be terrible. Even our closest friends don't know how to match us with perspective partners. What's the second challenge? You actually have to sit through a dinner party. Best of luck and Bon Appétit.

We were recently put off by an article making the rounds on the Internet entitled "The Unofficial Goldman Sachs Guide to Being a Man" The piece tosses out the kind of advice you'd expect to hear from your sexist, greedy, nearly senile grandfather and tries to spin it as something fresh. The gems in the article range from the sexist ("Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you ..." ) to the just plain weird ("Own a handcrafted shotgun. It's a beautiful thing."). Another one of these tidbits of terrible advice was "Time is too short to do your own laundry." Yeah, if you don't want to meet beautiful women. Nothing in day to day life is more boring than doing laundry, which means that you're skills as a conversationalist will never look better. Starting the conversation with anything other than, "So, umm, doing laundry?" will make you sound like a member of the Algonquin Roundtable. Just be sure to throw out any gross underwear or stained shirts before you head to the laundromat, as you you'll want to hide the grosser side of yourself until you're actually dating.

We know that men like to idealize the experience at a barber. Like a broken record, men automatically sing the praises of the close shaves, the manly advice, and the stack of Playboys in the corner when the subject comes up. You know what salons have the barbershops don't? Women. Yes, there are real live women getting their hair cut, which we'll take over women printed on sticky, wrinkled pages any day of the week. The female customers at a salon are a captive audience, as their appointment takes approximately fifty times longer than yours. The stylist will be going back and forth, grabbing dyes and instruments from around the salon, leaving you plenty of openings to start a conversation. If you're lucky enough to land an attractive stylist, even better. You've got at least fifteen minutes to make in-roads as she takes that razor to your scalp. At the end, she's probably going to give you her number out of professional courtesy. Once you've paid up, ask if you can use the number for pleasure rather than business. If she turns you down, scamper away and never get your hair cut there again. You can always go back to old Gus at the barbershop.

Whenever you see one of these things in a movie or novel they are painted as terrible experiences. That's because writers are trying to keep all of the fun for themselves. It's true that readings can last up to four hours, but only about an hour is spent struggling to stay awake as authors describe their first orgasm at summer camp. The rest of the time involves people heaping false praise on one another while swilling wine and eating fine cheeses. It's almost impossible to have a bad time at a reading, especially if you aren't a reader. Sure, most authors read their work aloud with the dynamic grace of a malfunctioning robot, but you can just tune them out and scan the audience for the lady who is going to help you mourn the passing of Elmore Leonard all night long. If you get shut down, at least the drinks were a lot cheaper than at the bar and the stories were better than ones told boastfully from a barstool.

No, we're not joking. This one might seem out of left field, but think back to your childhood visits to the land of the rodent puppets and ball pits. What percentage of the parents were moms? What percentage were dads? And the moms have it. We're going to bet that moms outnumbered dads three to one. The hardest thing you have to worry about is finding a child to take with you. Rack your brain: do you have a cousin, friend, or even a boss who would love nothing more than for you to take their little hellion off their hands for just one day? If the answer's yes, then it's all down hill from there. If your temporary ward is a budding actress, bribe her in tokens to go and play with a hot mom's son. You don't have to worry about a pick-up line, because you've got a walking, talking Dora the Explorer t-shirt wearing pick-up line in tow. Just scan for wedding rings as quickly as possible and definitely make sure that daddy isn't just stepping away for a minute to refill his Dr. Pepper.

If you aren't into all of the pseudo-spiritual mumbo jumbo and the incessant soundtrack of empowered female singer/songwriters, then yoga might not be the answer. The key here is to pick any female-centric workout: zumba, pilates, what have you. Women don't want to be hit on at the gym, yet muscle-bound bros still think it reasonable to casually flex in front of a lady and then ask her for a spot. If you are the only guy in a class of women, however, you can let them come to you. It will take some courage, because not only will you be in the vast minority, but the women will be much better than at their workout of choice. Get over it. Simply give it your best shot and, as you walk out of class says something like, "tough workout" or "what a relaxing experience" to no one in particular and see if anyone thinks you're talking to them. Next thing you know, you're sipping on a post-workout smoothie at Panera Bread with a group of the flyest ladies around.

This isn't exactly a well-kept secret. There is an entire educational film on the subject entitled Wedding Crashers. That doesn't mean that weddings aren't still the number one place to meet women. If a friend is getting married, there should be a number of women around your age, and there are few other situations in life where you know if a woman is single as soon as you meet them. There is mandatory drinking and dancing and built-in conversation, as you are guaranteed to have a least one mutual friend. While last call at bars isn't until at least 2 am, the reception usually ends early enough for the grandparents to get a good night's sleep, providing the perfect opportunity to suggest to a bridesmaid that you grab a drink in the hotel lobby. Just make sure that a) she's of age and b) she's isn't the groom's sister, and you are good to do the Electric Slide and the Chicken Dance all night long.