The phenomenon of celebrity sex tapes isn't new—hell, just consider the name, "sex tape." You whippersnappers may not remember, but once upon a time there were these things called VHS cassettes, or tapes, where we stored movies, TV shows, and our most tender sexual moments. Like DVDs but rectangular and plastic. Oh, just Google it.
Shakira is the latest sex tape star—or rumored sex tape star—as a clip featuring her and boyfriend Gerard Pique (he plays soccer for Barcelona and the Spanish national team) is being shopped around. Sorry, did we say boyfriend Gerard Pique? Change that to soon-to-be baby daddy Gerard Pique. On Wednesday (September 19), the couple announced they are expecting. So dealing with an inconclusive 15-minute clip of hot action being peddled by bitter ex-employees might not be the couple's top priority right now.
But admit it—you'd watch it. You'd watch just about any sex tape, or extracts from it, because we all are intrigued by the sex lives of celebrities. How do the rich and famous get it on? Often the answer is: Pretty much like anyone else.
A more interesting question is why do celebrities tend to tape themselves having sex? We can't say for sure in all cases, but when you live your life on a stage, it's possible to lose the sense that there exists an offstage world. You think everything is a performance. You think everything deserves to be recorded. Or maybe, like Dustin Diamond and Tom Sizemore, you just need the dough.
Here's a history of the most famous at their most intimate and simultaneously public—sex tapes capturing moments we were never meant to see, except in the many cases when we were. Read it, learn it, and give yourself a once-over with Purell when done.