1. E. Ness vs. Iron Solomon
Winner: Iron Solomon
E. Ness should've done his homework. He walked into this GrindTime match-up against Iron Solomon, coasting off his ancient MTV credits, only to have Solomon pick his resume apart. Line by line, item by item, Solomon tore up his opponent's lifework like scraps of paper.
The Jewish Upper West Sider started off strong, and never slowed. His opening lines included, "I ain't gon' put Diddy in my rhymes to chalk him out," before Solomon choked back a laugh. "Who the fuck am I kidding? That's all the fuck I'm gonna talk about!" Ness, theatrical but straightforward, never had a chance.
The fight exists as an exercise in research and name value: Solomon had a lot to work with and seized the opportunity, while E. Ness came in with a bunch of half-baked lines that he could have used on any white boy-most of his lines were generic boasts about why Solomon shouldn't have agreed to meet. (Note: When someone's making fun of you to your face, you don't say complicated-but-abstract statements about how you would respond with violence if only you could.) The battle is worth watching to see Solomon perform surgery without anaesthetic.