Cash Money is an army, better yet...an army made up of washed-up recruits. Earlier this week, Bow Wow shocked the rap world when he announced that he has signed a new deal with Baby and Slim's iconic New Orleans label. And a few months ago, Philly rapper Freeway also announced that he has inked a deal with CMR. Who's next?
Since the label has started inviting refugees from other labels to join its roster, we decided to suggest some other artists in need of a career boost who could benefit from getting down with Cash Money. Check out the fake album covers and details behind our proposed projects below...
ARTIST: LL Cool J
CASH MONEY DEBUT: Baby Said Knock You Out
THE PITCH: After failing to go gold for the first time in his career with 2008's Exit 13, Uncle L is a free agent in need of some serious career counseling. Who better to get him back into fighting shape than Birdman? Please, call it a comeback!
STANDOUT TRACKS: "Purple Syrup In a Styrofoam Cup Getting Drunk By Weezy," "Tuesday & Thursday (Time To Take My Heart Pills)," "Jingling, Baby" (f/ Birdman's Balls)
ARTIST: The Game
CASH MONEY DEBUT: 1,000,000 Degreez
THE PITCH: First Juvenile put Cash Money on the map with his album 400 Degreez. Then Weezy threw a subliminal at him with 500 Degreez. Then Juvenile responded with 600 Degreez. And now The Game ups the ante (as he always does), rehashing and name-dropping everything his labelmates did before he joined the team, with even more degreez. A million of 'em!
STANDOUT TRACKS: "I Feel Like Dying, Too!", "I'm So Whodi," "One More Blood," "Slim's Advocate," "I Am The Hot Boyz"
CLICK NEXT FOR THREE MORE FUTURE CASH MONEY CLASSICS!
ARTIST: De La Soul
CASH MONEY DEBUT: 3 Stacks High and Rising
THE PITCH: For two decades, these Native Tongue pioneers have made a career out of going against the grain, at times directly criticizing hip-hop's paper-chasing, materialistic mentality. But after 5 years with no album or record deal, Pos, Mase and Trugoy are finally ready to get paid. Back the money truck up!
STANDOUT TRACKS: "A Milli is the Magic Number," "Bling Bling Bling (Ha Ha Hey)," "Stacks Is High," "De La Orgee Pt. 2" (f/ Baby, Wayne, Mack Maine & Nikki Minaj)
CASH MONEY DEBUT: Chopper City In Carroll Gardens
THE PITCH: The backpack rap hero's independent label has been pretty quiet since '07, when he released his last album. What better way to bring some new excitement to the fickle underground rap scene than by signing a joint venture between Def Jux and CMR? First up, an album that brings his Brooklyn neighbohood to life like B.G.'s 'hood classic.
STANDOUT TRACKS: "Gentri-Fire Man," "8 Steps To the F Train (Bergen St Anthem)" (f/ Cage, Aesop Rock & Mr. Eon), "Def Jux Is An Army," "I Miss My Dawgs" (f/ Big Jus, J-Treds, & Mr. Len), "Welcome 2 The 'Nolia Bakery," "Back That Pancake Azz Up" (f/ Cage, Shia Labeouf & Teena Marie)
CASH MONEY DEBUT: The Bridge Is Hot
THE PITCH: Let's face it, the whole pseudo-conscious image Nas has developed over the last 10 years hasn't really worked for him. So what's next? A return to the more thugged-out tendencies of his youth with a new Southern flair.
STANDOUT TRACKS: "Bling-???? (Kelis Took Half)," "The Autobiography of Turk," "Go DJ... Premier," "What Happened To That Boy? (Shared Custody Anthem)," "Pillmatic"