The thirst is perhaps a little too real for this 53-year-old Georgia man who posted an impossibly lengthy and detailed Craigslist ad for a live-in "girlfriend/ lifetime companion." The ad promises free rent, utilities (including cable and wi-fi!), and groceries for just the right applicant.
To say that the ad's creator is picky would be a massive understatement. He began the ad by directing attention to one of the many images he included, which depicts a drawing of different women's body sizes. The 53-year-old wrote "For me #1 is great and #2 is ok but #3 is too large. Petite and skinny are ok also."
In addition to specifics about body type, the ad went on and on (and on) about other necessities for applicants:
The ad also includes a thorough profile and biography of the ad's poster. Spoiler alert: he's a Christian who owns a gun, lies about his age on personal ads, and considers himself to be witty:
Beyond the intense listing the guy posted, the number and variety of photos he posted were strange as well. He included photos of his home, himself, and several memes that don't seem related to anything in particular. A sampling:
And then there's this gem: a meme about the importance of honesty with a confederate flag in the background:
In case anyone was doubting what a great deal this would be, there's more! Apparently Georgia guy can hook up his new girlfriend with sweet concert tickets and plenty of premium cable channels...
Clearly the poster has some inkling that his ad is... over the top... because he issued a few apologies throughout the ad, but he also made it clear he's just doing what it takes to find the right match:
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