Los Angeles. For all the palm trees, giant swimming pools, disgustingly good weather, and beautiful women, there is something so terribly tenuous and downright shady about the City of Angels. First of all, its nickname is total lie. Just hit up the Rainbow Room on the Sunset Strip and see how many washed-up metal stars are still trying to pull 20-something tail. And, while the rich stay nice and cozy, the poor survive off fast food and long bus rides. The smog is like breathing a dragon's breath. Public transportation is nearly nonexistent. Traffic wastes money and is time consuming. And no one can be happy all the time. Stop lying to yourself, Angelenos; it's time to face the depressing facts. And should you be tempted to move to NYC, know the East Coast is not much better. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

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