5. Gluttony is Discouraged
Mayor Bloomberg's controversial ban on sugary drinks over 16oz. has made a lot of headlines, but it's only the most recent law the city has passed to make New Yorkers feel bad about themselves. New York was one of the first municipalities in the country to force restaurants to place calorie counts on their menus, maximizing the guilt you'll feel from ordering a double bacon cheeseburger.
Donna Karan and Heidi Klum live here, and you seriously want an extra large Cherry Coke, you fat pig? It's the Big Apple, not the Big Chalupa. City Hall is already working on statutes requiring all mirrors within city limits to add twenty pounds and mandatory horizontal stripes for government uniforms. You're eating right now, aren't you? You disgust us.