The 10 Types Of People That Shop At Supreme

Ever since opening their doors in 1994, Supreme has become a cult brand with a strong presence in the world of style. With limited releases each season and collaborations with companies like Clarks, Vans, Thom Browne, and Comme des Garçons SHIRT, their goods are definitely made for skaters (see the capsule collection with INDEPENDENT Trucks) but with a sensibility that purveyors of fine art (decks by George Condo and Damien Hirst) and fashion can appreciate.

Whether or not they’ve “fallen off” as of late is debatable, but with co-signs from rappers like Nas, Tyler The Creator, and Drake, to appearances in editorials for fashion magazines, it’s pretty evident that the brand appeals to a much wider audience than the downtown skate rats it began with. So let’s make fun of them all. Here are The 10 Types Of People That Shop At Supreme.

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What They're Buying: Ceramic Ashtray, $56

They travel in packs, pulling cigarettes out of packs with large stickers on them that read “Fumer tue” in bold Helvetica. They are wearing sunglasses worth more than your rent, and everything about them is cooler than you. Even when they sneeze, they do it with style. They arrive at Lafayette Street and confer with each other in French. There are at least two of them in Pigalle tees, and one in a Palace Skateboards shirt. They’ve come for more five-panels, a couple of snapbacks, and maybe a couple of hoodies… but they probably won’t buy anything at all.

What She's Buying: Washed Twill Camp Cap, $44

They saw some other girl wearing it on tumblr and it looked like, wayyyyy cute. She was wearing it with a Céline top, Proenza Schouler tricolor pants, and a Cartier bracelet. It was just like, way perfect because it totally encapsulated “that whole high/low thing” everyone is talking about, and she totally feels like “an uptown girl with a downtown vibe.” She also wants to meet a totally cute boy who skates, and figures if she can’t meet him here, she’ll just wear her new box logo hat and look for one at Saturdays Surf down the street, preening on the patio while suggestively sipping her latte and looking at an issue of apartamento.

What They're Buying: Supreme x Nike SB Dunk Low 2012, Release date: 7/19

These teenagers line up outside every Wednesday night and wait until Thursday morning to be the first ones there when the new stuff drops. If they have jobs, they called out sick today. But chances are they’re still in high school. One day, when they finally get laid, they’ll look back on the hours they wasted waiting for a Nike SB collaboration or CDG Shirt polka dot tee, and cry a single tear for not having their priorities straight.

What They're Buying: Pam Grier for Supreme Tee, $40

One day, they’ll finally move out of their parents’ basement. But that would involve having to part with all the limited-edition Supreme gear that they claim could make a killing on eBay. They sleep on a stack of Lady Gaga, Biggie, and Kate Moss tees. They stay awake at night wondering why no one has bought their Kermit The Frog Kubrick for $5,000.

What He's Buying: Side-Mesh Bell Hat, $40

He was dragged to SoHo by his ungrateful spawn. “What the hell is this place anyway? And why can’t we just go to that nice looking Hollister down the street?” Mutters Dad to himself, as he stares at the $40 mesh bucket hats his bratty son wants so bad. “Tommy Bahama makes these for ten bucks!” he tells his progeny, but the 13-year-old won’t listen. He wants to look like the white kid in Odd Future. He wants to wear a box logo T-shirt on the plane back to whatever flyover state they came from. Exasperated, Dad forks over his hard-earned dollars to the nonplussed cashier. “All right. We’re done here. Let’s go to the Statue of Liberty,” Dad says, defeated.

What They're Buying: Arabic Logo 5-Panel, $40

Ok, so not the editors themselves, but more like interns who are sent to pick up something that catches their eye. Like maybe one of the new Daniel Johnston tees, or a sick fishtail parka with GORE-TEX detailing, or an Adam Kimmel suit collab, or maybe just a couple of new hats. They need it for their upcoming trip to Paris/Milan/Florence/Tokyo. It’s the perfect accessory to the rest of their designer gear, showing the street style photographers of the world that they still keep it basement. They out here trying to fashion.

What They've Bought: Comme des Garcons SHIRT x Supreme Sk8-Hi, $128 retail/$140-$220 eBay

These assholes camp out with the hypebeasts, but unlike them, have zero desire whatsoever to wear the gear. They have the audacity to go in, buy the most covetable piece, and attempt to sell it off to other people in line for five times the price. FOH.

What They're Buying: EVERYTHING.

Don’t talk about Supreme; they’ll embarrass you. They’ve been racking up this kind of gear for ages, and if they don’t come up on something here, they’ve got cousins overseas ready to proxy. In fact, some of them aren’t even here shopping for themselves; they’re delivering swag by the boxload to the Philippines, rural China, and countries you haven’t heard of so you wonder what part of Japan they’re in, racist. Sure, they might cop a select piece or two for themselves, but don’t be fooled. Chances are the eBay auction you just won is coming from an Asian kid who had more luck than you. Sorry, it’s the year of the dragon, bitches.

What He's Buying: Supreme x Clarks Desert Mali Low, $158

You’ve seen him a couple of times, mostly on the Internet. Once on a Jake Davis test shot. He doesn’t buy anything. He never needs to. He simply walks in, with his A.P.C. Supreme jeans well-worn as his Vans x Supreme Authentics (or Clarks x Supreme Desert Boots). The sleeves on his chambray shirt are artfully rolled, and he strolls in the shop like he owns the place. The employees know that he was sent here by James Jebbia himself, to pick up a discreetly marked bag in the back, full of artfully-picked products that won’t be out for another ten months… except on this dude’s body. He will instagram them in slivers. A hint of paisley; a drop of khaki camo print. And you. Will. Want. Everything.