One team's old as fuck, with a dismal future, a delusional fanbase, and an owner who makes Daniel Snyder look like a paragon of managerial competence. One team's older than fuck, with a dismal future, a bandwagon jumping fanbase, and an owner who has a penchant for firing AK-47s. And one team plays for a private college in Hackensack, N.J. with an enrollment of 12,000 and a school motto that translates to "Strongly and Gently." They're all off to rough starts early in this basketball season. But only one can be The Worst Basketball Team in New York Today.
CANDIDATE NO. 1: THE KNICKS
With Amar'e Stoudemire having lost his defensive compass (seriously, he's looking for that shit in the stands at the Palace as we speak), the Knicks fell to the Pistons last night, 92-86. The good news for the now 3-7 Knickerbockers? Their bus did not crash on the way to the arena last night. The better news for the Knicks? Chris Smith was not on that bus.
CANDIDATE NO. 2: THE NETS
The Nets were idle last night—literally their fans hope, since approximately all of their roster is injured. Also, idleness is better than taking direction from the worst coach in the NBA.
CANDIDATE NO. 3: THE FAIRLEIGH DICKINSON KNIGHTS
The Knights lost 87-76 to the Metro State Roadrunners. Yes, there's actually a school called "Metro State" (it's in Denver), and no, losing to them is not quite as bad as it sounds; they're the No. 1 ranked team in NCAA Division II. Of course Fairleigh Dickinson plays in Division I and have a proud(ish) hoops tradition of their own (four first round NCAA Tourney defeats or four NCAA Tourney appearances, depending on whether you're a glass half-full or glass half-empty sort of Knights fan). Also, the Knights got doubled up by Arizona, 100-50, on Tuesday night. But FDU is still in first place in the Northeast Conference (no conference games yet!) and have a chance to get right when they host the mighty, mighty St. Peter's Peacocks this weekend.
THE WORST TEAM IN NEW YORK TODAY IS...
The Knicks. The kids at FDU have their entire lives in front of them (plus that date with the Peacocks on Saturday). The Nets are one day closer to collecting Social Security, and got to spend last night Facetiming with their boo at the Barclays Center. The Knicks get the best team in the NBA tonight when they face Indiana at Madison Square Garden. Think the Pacers are practicing their backboard passes?
