Hey, it's a risky world out there, filled as it is with rain, mud, and other things that might mess up your kicks. And seeing that you can just buy whatever you need online and have it shipped straight to your door, there's no need to go out there. Besides, who needs friends when you have the internet? And remember, as long as you don't wear them outside, your sneakers are still deadstock, no matter how many times you try them on.