For the first time in human history, someone has created pornography that nobody will want to fast forward through. Ah, the power of comedy.

Rising star Nikki Glaser (you've seen her on Inside Amy Schumer, At Midnight, and in Women Who Kill) and stand-up comic Kyle Kinane got to live out the dream of creating intentionally hilarious porn (as opposed to unintentionally hilarious porn) by feeding lines to a pair of actual porn stars as they had actual sex.

They really went for it, too. The dialogue includes porn star Jake Jace saying "Obama's a Muslim," and, "I'm just going to lick everything down here and hope it feels good," before ending the scene with, "Happy Halloween!," which was at least a polite thing to say after finishing on porn star Luna Star. Luna might have had the winner with Glaser's, "You make me wish I had 50 tits," though.

To get the full effect, check out the version of the porn below that only shows the porn stars' side of things. It's cleverly titled "Pounding Fathers 6: The Dick-laration of Independence" for what might be the greatest reference ever made to Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze's 1851 painting "Washington Crossing the Deleware."

The video was taken from Glaser's new Comedy Central series Not Safe With Nikki, which features Glaser talking about "losing your virginity, masturbation, and putting stuff in your butt," as she puts it. It premiered a few weeks back, but we have a feeling this is the show's pullout breakout moment. New episodes of Not Safe With Nikki air Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m.