Failed athletes who remain haunted by their unrealized dreams are a dangerous bunch, as they carry those repressed feelings into the most innocent of outings. Like kickball, for example. The game, which separated the elite from the irrelevant in our younger days, has become a source of after-work fun. That fun is halted by this asshole and his overzealous ways. These include, but aren't limited to: Humiliating teammates with expletive-laden tirades, nearly coming to blows with opponents, and darting all over the field like he's playing in Game 7 of the World Series.
Dude, it's kickball. You can't change what happened during your college soccer team days; just have a postgame beer and relax.
1. Kickball league team t-shirt
2. Soccer shorts
3. Knee brace
4. High socks
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