Overconfident and insecure, this particular species of douche pushes brown-nosing, scrotum-licking and name-dropping for the sake of career advancement to the limits of extreme unlikability. It's career over everything, even, at times, being a decent human being. What this unfortunate soul doesn't realize is that he's alienated everyone—even the people he so desperately tries to "network" with—and that nobody cares about his job, which he rambles on about endlessly. Seriously, who wants to be Jonah Ryan?
Little does he know, someone is waiting to snatch the very ladder he hopes to climb right out from under him. The lack of self-awareness bleeds into his "style," and soon enough, someone will hang him by that damn lanyard.
1. Paisley tie to inject much-needed life into outfit
2. Extremely safe suit
3. Lanyard bearing ID card worn after work hours
4. Over-the-shoulder bag containing important materials (i.e. cocaine)
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