Big-Deal Movies I'm Most Excited About
Maleficent (May 30)
Walter White and Dexter Morgan be damned—Angelina Jolie as Maleficent is the ultimate anti-hero. Truth be told, Angelina Jolie at her best is Angelina Jolie at her most badass—and Angelina Jolie at her most badass is terrifying children in a Disney movie.
The Fault in Our Stars (June 6)
It's no secret in the office that I'm the resident YA stan. I scooped up The Fault In Our Stars a couple years ago because I love John Green's Looking for Alaska, and it exceeded my expectations. Fault, for those cynics put off by the movie's #ExtraFeels campaign, deserves a second look. It's a stripped down teenage love story without the gimmick of the supernatural or dystopian. If you liked The Spectacular Now and The Perks of Being A Wallflower film adaptations, get ready to fall in love with this one. I am.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (August 8)
Other TMNT fans are wary, and I don't doubt for a second that this will probably suck, but I guarantee you that after the movie I will head straight to Toys "R" Us for my own pair of sai. Because I lost mine when we moved in second grade. Sometimes all a movie's good for is to remind you how awesome it was to be a kid.
Indie Movies I'm Most Excited About
Happy Christmas (June 26)
Here's the hook: Anna Kendrick, Lena Dunham, Melanie Lynskey, Mark Webber, Joe Swanberg, and the cutest baby you'll ever see star in a holiday movie coming out on half-Christmas. Not sold yet? Anna Kendrick plays a burnout who could probably out-smoke you.
I Origins (July 18)
If you were intrigued by Another Earth, Mike Cahill and Brit Marling (along with Michael Pitt and Astrid Berges-Frisbey) reteam for another sci-fi mindfuck. The Sundance 2014 award-winner is tricky to explain, so don't let me butcher the film and just watch the trailer.
Life After Beth (August 15)
Parks and Recreation fans know: Aubrey Plaza is the Meryl Streep of playing absurd. And what's more absurd than her as the titular Beth, a zombie who comes back to life and continues her relationship with her still-human boyfriend? And with Dane DeHaan as her delusional lover, human-on-corpse romance has never seemed so sexy kinda.
Movies I Think Will Suck
Million Dollar Arm (May 16)
A white dude goes to India, recruits a bunch of Indian kids for his baseball team, and hilarity ensues as they get accustomed to 'Mericuh and said white dude discovers he has a soul. Cue the end credits, set to a song by The Fray.
Blended (May 23)
Judging by Adam Sandler's last three live-action movies—Grown Ups 2, That's My Boy, and Jack and Jill—I'd rather replay my copy of 50 First Dates until my DVD player catches fire than witness this train wreck.
Transformers: Age of Extinction (June 27)
Like the previous Transformers movies, the story will be underdeveloped, the dialogue will be dull, and the action will be overblown to the point where you can't tell what the hell is happening. So yes, it'll will blow. But yes, I will hate-watch it.
The Biggest Question Marks for Me
Tammy (July 2)
Melissa McCarthy stars in a comedy where her titular character goes on a road trip with her crazy grandma Pearl (played by Susan Sarandon, who makes all other grandmas look like mummies) to escape her crappy home life. It sounds excellent on paper, but look how Identity Theft turned out. (The answer is awfully. It was awful.)
Jupiter Ascending (July 18)
The Wachowski siblings last effort, Cloud Atlas, was a boring, race-bending mess, but they are the duo behind The Matrix trilogy. Either Jupiter Ascending will become another sci-fi classic, or it'll be known as "that one movie where Channing Tatum dressed up in World of Warcraft cosplay."
Guardians of the Galaxy (August 1)
Hopefully all of the jokes aren't in the trailers and the comedy doesn't get bogged down by overdone, mind-numbing action sequences. I have high hopes for Chris Pratt.