Whether you like or not, Twitter is here to stay. It’s like a stepdad that your family loves but is also really good at making fun of you when you say something dumb. You want to hate him, but you can’t upset the herd so you’re left with only one option: playing it cool. And if you don’t play it cool, the gigabyte guardians will sniff out your fear faster than you can say, “Help me, Favstar!”

If that last paragraph already has you shaking in your HootSuite, relax. Everything is going to be just fine. The Internet forgets just as fast as it rewards, and if you heed my time-tested, web-based wisdom, you’ll be reaping the benefits of a Klout score that will make even the likes of Rob Delaney nervous.

Disclaimer: If do you heed my time-tested, web-based wisdom, and you reap absolutely no benefits whatsoever, you should probably quit Twitter forever. JK. (Kind of.)