"Best Juvenile Gunslinger" and More Awards for Last Night's "The Walking Dead"

No one under the age of 14 was safe last night.

Image via AMC

Let’s not dress this up too much; last night’s episode of The Walking Dead was rougher than a Motel 6 bath towel. In “The Grove,” the series continued to focus on the story of Tyreese, Carol, Lizzie, Mika, and baby Judith, and while on paper that sounds about as entertaining as wheat toast, the episode etched its place in primetime infamy once it started to probe the twisted mind of young Lizzie. She had shown some pretty sociopathic traits earlier in the season, but things turned absolutely twisted at the end of the 2nd act.

In this episode, it was shown that Lizzie truly can't process what the walkers are or how much of a threat they could be. She showed a surprising lack of fear towards them, even going as far as to name the walkers and treat them as pets. This, coupled with her quasi attempted murder of Judith earlier in the season, set some serious alarm bells off, but no one could have predicted what happened next.

When Tyreese and Carol got back to their camp after a conversation in the woods, they came across Lizzie standing over the corpse of her sister Mika, holding a bloody knife. It turns out that Lizzie’s warped mind didn’t mix well with Carol’s repeated killing lessons, leading her to plunge the knife into her sister's chest. Lizzie believed her sister would return as a walker, which she viewed as a good thing. Realizing that Lizzie’s lack of empathy and taste for blood had become a danger to everyone around, Carol took her out back and shot her in order to save Tyreese and Judith.

So it’s time to step back, wash the images of little white girl corpses from your mind, and take a look at who walked away with some somber awards from the episode of The Walking Dead.

The “Wayne LaPierre Award” for Best Juvenile Gunslinger: Mika for the headshot that saved Judith and Lizzie

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Most Effective Advertisement for Kids Playing Video Games: Seeing what hobbies Lizzie picked up without electricity around

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Most Convincing Argument for Contraception: Lizzie gutting her sister. Seriously, there shouldn’t be a pack of condoms left in the lower 48 states after this episode aired.

Best Example of Godfather Justice: Carol giving Lizzie the Fredo Corleone treatment

The Character Most Deserving of a Vacation: Tyreese, after watching two little girls get violently killed and finding out that one of your best friends murdered your girlfriend all within 24 hours.

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