During the winter, your friends in the city will annoy the hell out of you by throwing parties for undeserving occasions in an attempt to beat the sudden onset of seasonal affective disorder. New Years, the Super Bowl, the Oscars, and even the Golden Globes become desperate attempts at luring you out of your home.

Meanwhile, we'd rather be sitting at home watching The Wire than risk life and limb going across town to your ridiculous anti-Valentine's Day party. Can't we just postpone all of these until it's warm enough to wear shorts?