Bad news: The world is ending, and all of those decrepit, groaning, walking corpses are to blame. Even worse news: The remaining survivors are in a terrible mood. And who can blame them—zombies just ate their loved ones, showers are all broken, and there's no good food to Instagram. Yes, everything sucks.
If a zombie apocalypse like the one seen on AMC's The Walking Dead were to ever happen in real life, everyone would be screwed. With no worldwide cure in sight, mankind's optimism would rapidly deplete, to the point where, eventually, unlikable curmudgeons would dominate. (It's like the Internet out in these streets!)
That is, unless a few contrarians were ballsy enough to simultaneously kill the living dead with head-shots and kill their fellow humans with kindness. Because, as seen on The Walking Dead, it is possible to develop worthwhile relationships while cadaverous flesh-eaters are turning Joseph's people into Sloppy Joe's. It just takes a lot more effort and strategizing than usual.
In short, be more of a Glen (Steven Yeun) than a Merle (Michael Rooker). But that's not enough. There's so much more to fostering healthy interpersonal connections during dark times. You must learn.
This is The Walking Dead Guide to Making Friends in the Zombie Apocalypse.
Be down for whatever.
Don't immediately threaten to kill anyone.
Make yourself useful and hold this zombie leash.
Teach your potential friend something valuable, like how important it is to smear zombie guts on your body.
Show your friend that you're responsible because you keep pets.
Don't be a racist bastard.
Find a cool, unique weapon and become the best with it.
Don't obsess over your best friend's girl.
Be a doctor. Or a veterinarian. Or a champion at the board game Operation. Or just surgical with a hatchet.
But don't be afraid to show off your softer side.
And lastly—remember, nobody likes a whiner.