When it comes to saving reality from the unspeakable horrors of a Hell, whose unbound fury would consume mortal minds and bodies with the ease and enthusiasm of a malevolent black hole, the heroes of Diablo III make the perfect team. If those heroes—the Barbarian, the Demon Hunter, the Monk, the Witch Doctor, and the Wizard—were thrust into the real world and forced to join the working, withering masses, not so much.

Imagine a world in which your daily commute is punctuated by the mad babbling of these five otherworldly beings, who would surely be driven irreversibly insane by the monotony of everyday life that the majority of us face with stoic resignation. Snakes burst forth from the underground when the Witch Doctor’s train is late again. Civilians are accidentally massacred as the Barbarian and Demon Hunter are told for what seems like the hundredth time that there’s simply no room in the budget for their desperately desired promotions. The Monk finds no solace in meditation when he’s denied his quarterly bonus for the twelfth consecutive period. The Wizard’s paychecks are sent to the wrong address, and his meager tenement burns mysteriously to the ground after a night of heavy drinking.

And let’s face it: they wouldn’t be very good at their jobs to begin with.