Still need a minute to recuperate from last night's Game of Thrones episode? Sheesh, we sure as hell do. The only GoT who aren't currently suffering from PTSD are those who've read George R. R. Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice novels and knew all about the infamous "Red Wedding" long before plopping down on their couches to watch "The Rains of Castamere," the third season's realest, rawest, and most rugged hour yet—and we're pretty sure next week's season finale won't change its standing.
For anyone who hasn't read Martin's books, however, "The Rains of Castamere" basically took the first season's Ned-Stark-gets-decapitated gut-puncher of an episode, "Baelor," and ups the emotional trauma tenfold. It's an R.I.P. affair for three of Game of Thrones' prominent players, none of whom we'll name here in this intro space, just in case there are any casual readers out there who've yet to watch the episode. If that describes you, here's some advice: Sign off the Internet and on-demand that shit, pronto. Also, stay away from Twitter, Facebook, and any other website that's Google accessible, frankly—experience the final 10 minutes of "The Rains of Castamere" for yourselves, freshly and devoid of any prior knowledge.
What can be said here, though, is that, including the aforementioned "Red Wedding" business, the season's ninth installment was heavy on the action and light on the happiness. On the Jon Snow front, his time spent within the Wildlings camp comes to an end, thanks to his inability to kill an innocent horse breeder in front of them, and, you know, the fact that he murders Orell (confirming his suspicions that Jon's not really trying to be down, saying, "You were right the whole time," before terminating Orell). Bran, meanwhile discovers his ability to mentally control animals, getting two direwolves (including Jon's own) to attack the Wildlings and prevent he and his traveling companions from being found. Arya stops The Hound from butchering an old wagon-pushing man and tells Sir Hound that one day she's going to ram a sword through his eye while they're en route to Walder Frey's home to drop in on her Uncle Edmure's wedding with one of Frey's seeds.
As for the rest of the episode's highlights, let's get right into all of the nitty, gritty, death-riddled details with this week's edition of Watching the Throne, focusing on Daenerys and Robb (Tyrion, Jaime, Cersei, and Tywin are nowhere to be seen in "The Rains of Castamere"). One of whom, unfortunately, won't ever make it to the Iron Throne.
Written by Matt Barone (@MBarone)