Director: Jan de Bont
Stars: Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric, Willem Dafoe, Colleen Camp, Tamia
For all of the flack Keanu Reeves receives about his vapid acting, we've got to give the man some credit: He was smart enough to forego Speed 2: Cruise Control, the horrendous sequel to 1994's action sensation Speed, one of the actor's best movies. One could imagine that Reeves read the idea-less script and said, "Didn't I make this exact movie three years ago?" Preceded by a "Whoa," of course.
Sandra Bullock wasn't as wise as your boy Keanu, though, voluntarily associating herself with not only one of the worst sequels ever made, but one of the worst "event" movies ever conceived. Instead of a speeding bus, Speed 2: Cruise Control features an out-of-control ocean liner, but that's where the switch-ups end. As returning director Jan de Bont calls the shots, Bullock reprises her original character, and she's paired with a wooden and woefully miscast leading man a la Reeves (this time it's Jason Patric), while Willem Dafoe does his worst impersonation of Dennis Hopper's terrorist/villain from the '94 flick.
The whole thing leads up to an elaborate finale in which more innocent shipboard passengers die than get saved, though, naturally, Patric and Bullock emerge from the wreckage with pulses intact. The nameless corpses are the lucky ones.