Once your parents realized that their 10 year-old child knew more about computers than they did, all of household computer responsibilities suddenly fell on your shoulders. One of the your most important duties was the bi-annual Windows update. 3.1 begat 95 and 95 begat 98 and 98 begat 2000 and so on and so forth: each new update meant a faster machine and the option to buy cooler games.

Now if you could just figure out how to install Service Pak 2 ...