There's a thin line between being a fun drunk and acting like an extra in a Ke$ha video. And that line is typically crossed while chasing a handful of Molly's with Skol Vodka out of the plastic bottle. You like to party, we get it. We just saw you gracelessly thrash about a fraternity basement to "Thrift Shop," pee behind an alley dumpster, and now you're crying on the phone with your high school boyfriend. After some regrettable drunk texting and a trip to the 24-hour Taco Bell, you'll vomit in a hamper and pass out. In the morning, all you'll have to show for yourself is a shattered iPhone screen and the sad realization that you're an enormous douchebag.