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Before video games and computers and smart phones swallowed childhood whole, kids played board games. And since it was the free-wheeling '90s, the definition of board game got stretched to the limits. (Is it a board game if an electronic elephant shoots nylon butterflies from its erect trunk? Why the hell not?)
Whether you were rolling dice on a flimsy piece of flat cardboard or catching balls spewed from Mr. Bucket, one thing was constant: fun so intense it would make your eyes bleed.
These are 20 Great '90s Board Games You (Probably) Don't Remember.
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Gator Golf
Year: 1993
Publisher: Hasbro
Players: 2
Suggested Ages: 4+
Object: It's simple—and PETA hated it for its simplicity—but the goal was to really just put the balls in the gator's mouth. You clubbed them in the with cheap, non-regulation golf equipment. First player to four wins, because stakes is high.
Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?
Year: 1992
Publisher: University Games
Players: 2-6
Suggested Ages: 10+
Object: Players answer trivia questions to move around the world—the board, duh—and find out where exactly Carmen Sandiego is. As a child, this was the easiest way to feel like a spy. And also train to be the kind of ex that stalks their former partner?
Rock Jocks
Year: 1992
Publisher: Milton Bradley
Players: 2
Suggested Ages: 6+
Object: Combining Stretch Armstrong gummy technology while simultaneously prefiguring the release of Sly Stallone's Cliffhanger by an entire year, Rock Jocks was the future of gaming. Your climbers scaled Rock Jock mountain, carefully avoiding goats, snakes, vultures, and the Yeti. But not John Lithgow. Weird.
Grape Escape
Year: 1992
Publisher: Parker Brothers
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 5+
Object: Two years before the stunning leap in molding technology that enabled magic like Looney Toons Smush 'Em, young players were creating grapes from clay to escape them from the grape-destroying mechanism at the heart of this fruit torture porn game. It's reportedly been banned in the UK for the violence.
Tyrannosaurus Rocks
Year: 1992
Publisher: Mattel
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 5+
Object: Carefully set the bones to complete the skeleton of the Tyrannosaurus— without setting him off. In '92, setting off the T. rex was something cowards worried about. But then 1993 saw the release of Jurassic Park and nothing was the same.
Elefun
Year: 1993
Publisher: Hasbro
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 3+
Object: To catch as many nylon butterflies that fly out of the motorized elephant's trunk as you can. We're just reporting facts.
Mr. Bucket
Year: 1991
Publisher: MB Spellen
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 4+
Object: In this game, Mr. Bucket is placed in the middle of an open room (this step cannot be neglected, or all will be lost). Each player has a shovel and four balls (and nothing else—Mr. Bucket demanded as little clothing as possible because it was truly a pagan ritual). Mr. Bucket then begins to twist and spin while vomiting balls that you collect with the shovels in a brutal free-for-all that left many children scarred. Including the winner.
Jumanji
Year: 1995
Publisher: MB Jeux
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 8+
Object: Based on the Robin Williams vehicle of the same name (which was inspired by the awesome 1981 picture book from Chris Van Allsburg), Jumanji is a game that takes you on an adventure through the jungle. In the movie getting, out of the jungle involved a board game just like this one. Only playing this board game didn't require a monkey tail to shoot out of your butt.
Planet Hollywood
Year: 1997
Publisher: Milton Bradley
Players: 2+
Suggested Ages: 10+
Object: Real talk—this writer gained a formative education in the minutia of movie trivia by reading the cards this game revolved around. It was a game with a timer and lame sound effects, but it was also more than a game. It was a lesson, and a step toward a career. The more you know.
The Omega Virus
Year: 1992
Publisher: MB Jeux
Players: 1-4
Suggested Ages: 10+
Object: Using a computer, players must gather weapons and access cards along the BattleSat1 space station in order to stop the deadline Omega virus. For years, this is how your parents imagined the Internet working.
Compatibility
Year: 1996
Publisher: Asmodee
Players: 4-6
Suggested Ages: 14+
Object: Players divide into two teams, for a Civil War type confrontation (brother against brother). Then, each player of his/her respective team gets the same exact deck of picture cards. All players in the game respond to a deck of word cards (example words: magic, marriage, pimple), and must determine the best picture cards to correspond to the chosen word card in the middle of the table...
Honestly, no one knows how this game worked. But if you had the most points, you won. Probably it was about capitalism and privilege.
Looney Tunes Smush 'Em
Year: 1994
Publisher: Tyco
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 6+
Object: With the power of clay and Looney Tunes character molds, players made their own pieces, and then did battle in a harsh cartoon world where the loser would be smushed without mercy.
Loopin' Louie
Year: 1992
Publisher: The Canadian Group
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 4+
Object: Louie flies is plane around the center of the board using a battery-powered motor. His mission? Steal your chickens. But you need those chickens (don't ask why). Your mission? Get Louie to steal the chickens of the other players. This is America.
Jumpin' Monkeys
Year: 1991
Publisher: Crown & Andrews Ltd.
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 4+
Object: Catapult all of your monkeys into the tree without any falling off the branches. The player with the most monkeys on the tree wins! The saddest thing is, did the players even ask the monkeys if they wanted to go in that tree? Wouldn't they rather be plotting to—TAKE OVER THE WORLD? ISN'T THAT RIGHT, CHARLTON HESTON?! ISN'T IT?!
13 Dead End Drive
Year: 1991
Publisher: Hasbro
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 9+
Object: Prepare yourself, because this is going to be tough. Conceal your character's identity by bluffing. A player must role a die and move two of the character pawns throughout the 3-D board. A player may win in 3 ways:
1) If you can move your own game counter out of the house when it's the same as the portrait on the wall.
2) If your game counter is the last surviving.
3) If your game counter's portrait is on the wall when the detective enters the main entrance.
4) If you can set up the 3-D board. Really, it was the hardest part about the game.
Perfection
Year: 1992
Publisher: Action GT
Players: 1
Suggested Ages: 4+
Object: You gotta plug those holes with the right shape, or else everything blows up. It was like The Hurt Locker for ages 4 and up.
Electronic Mall Madness
Year: 1990
Publisher: MB Jeux
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 9+
Object: Shopping, especially as a kid, always sounds more fun that it ends up being. Do you want to go buy the freshest gear? Yes, one thousand times yes. Great. But now your mom is coming along, and she somehow doesn't want your gear to be farmer's-market fresh. Mall Madness, a game about shopping, was the safer bet.
Electronic Dream Phone
Year: 1991
Publisher: MB Jeux
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 9+
Object: Don't act like you weren't calling Dan late at night to see if he had a crush on you.
Eat at Ralph's
Year: 1992
Publisher: Milton Bradley
Players: 2-4
Suggested Ages: 5+
Object: The '90s were a different time as far as children and food consumption goes. See, in Eat at Ralph's, players must feed Ralph as much food as possible without him regurgitating it. The player who gets rid of their food tokens first wins! The FLOTUS would not approve.
Crossfire
Year: 1991
Publisher: Milton Bradley
Players: 2
Suggested Ages: 7+
Object: In the future, why are conflicts settled with metal balls? No one knows. But when you have a great theme song—as this game most definitely did—you don't need reasons. You just need to get caught up...in the CROSSFIIIIRRRRREEE.
