The Great Male Novelist is supposed to stare long and hard at the world and then put down on the page glimmering paragraphs of truth.
What the hell is going on in these sex scenes, then?
Granted, sex is a difficult thing to capture, and when you remove a sex scene from the larger context of its novel (as they are rendered here), moments that work stop working; you wind up with weird jokes (perfect for our purposes).
And not all of these scenes are hilarious because they're inept or purple. Some of the following scenes are laughable because they were written to make the reader laugh (see Nicholson Baker, Philip Roth, and Geoff Dyer).
Don't worry about needing to keep it in your pants. Here are 25 Laughable Sex Scenes From Famous Male Novelists.