The idea of biking is altruistic, but bikers are the worst. These Lance Armstrong aspirants, with their pant legs rolled up, actually take pride in owning a "brakeless" fixed-gear. As New York drivers, we're accosted by text messages, jaywalkers, and red-light enforcement cameras. Asking us to keep an eye on the bike lane while making a right-hand turn or opening up passenger side doors is simply asking too much. Sorry we're not sorry.

Then, as if it weren't bad enough on the roads, you drag that cycle down to the subway and force your way into a crowded car with an additional nine cubic feet worth of aluminum. Great. Now, we're smashed between a naked homeless man on bath salts and your handlebars. Don't cheat us (or your cardiovascular endurance) by multi-purposing your transportation. It's crowded enough down here.