The thrill here surely lies in being able to scoop a glob of peanut (or whatever) butter from the jar and promptly eat it without Mom seeing. But now that you're at college, there are plenty of things – rebellious things – you could be doing that are infinitely more worth your while. Try watching an R-rated film. Or smoking a blunt. Or watching and R-rated film while smoking a blunt. Upon re-opening the refigerator door, you'll notice, the peanut (or whatever) butter will surely be waiting there, now calling your name. A stomachache will likely ensue, but you'll be too distracted by the rush of having disobeyed your parents for the first time to notice.
11. Peanut butter, cookie butter or any of the assorted flavored butters