Image via Complex Original
It was 20 years ago today that a British engineer named Neil Papworth sent the first ever text message. He sent it from his work computer to a friend's Orbitel 901 cell phone. It read "Merry Christmas." Papworth had no idea that short message service (SMS) technology would go on to dominate the mobile world, and all but replace phone calls.
Since 1992, messaging has evolved to include images, videos, audio, and even links to websites. We're at the point now where services such as iMessage and BlackBerry Messenger have come along with the promise of replacing text messaging and saving the mobile customer money in the process.
With the advent of full touchscreen phones, companies like Apple and Google have developed advanced predictive text software, colloquially known as auto-correct, so people could spend less time typing and more time enjoying their shiny new device. But auto-correct isn't always right. You've heard the stories and seen the websites with the countless hilarious horror stories of people's phones saying things other than what was meant to be said—or, as its known 'round these parts, fails. We collected 50 exceptionally funny examples. Enjoy.
Smoke Break
We'd be too tempted to even walk in the direction our break room if it contained jars of the sticky.
Can I Pay the Sitter with Sex?
To be fair, Pops never said what he paid the babysitter for, exactly.
Say Goodbye to Mama
In an attempt to put a positive spin on this morbid fuck up: He should feel happy his mother would leave him a suicide text before deciding to end it all.
Brother's Shouldn't Be So Close
Dudes would catch five-to-10 bids if semen was really that potent.
White Gurls
Here's a tip for those of you wanting to avoid embarrassing auto-correct fails: Use real words and spell them correctly. It's surprising that a man who spells "girls" as "gurls" gets laid at all.
Stop Self-Snitching
When in doubt, always plead the fifth.
Here's Why You Don't Argue Via Text
Because you end up losing more than you bargained for
Smells like...Fish
We like that her friend kept it 100% real with her.
Chocolate Cooch
Finding out via text message that your Dad is stepping out on your Mom for a little side-swirl is not the business.
Stop Self-Snitching, Vol. 2
Well, guess you can't move on to plan C.
Ladybits and the Tramp
Is this Leona Helmsley texting from the grave?
Pizza Sluts
We're sure there's already a Tumblr for this.
Momma's Boy
Want a surefire way to lose your appetite? Picture your friend and his mom in a porno.
Playboy Club
She had the same reaction when she find out her daughter wanted to become a Scientologist.
Good Luck With the Baby
Most dudes just change their numbers when they run out on their baby mothers.
Child Pornography
We're going to avoid making a Sandusky joke here.
Adopted Brother
Forget a family meeting. In the digital age, all familial issues can be resolved in less than 140 characters.
Times Must Be Hard
Hey, we've heard of people doing crazier things to make it through the recession.
Dungeon Family
It puts the lotion on its skin...
Cook Out With Your, Uh...
We're glad the mom believes that all things "cock" related fall under the father's purview.
Girl Scout Cookies
Dave and Louise should be brought in for questioning just incase. Someone get Chris Hansen on the horn.
Tig Ol' Bitties
Sometimes you just have to learn to take a compliment.
Stain Remover
And what if Jacob really needed to know how to remove the massive stains he left in his linen? Then what? Way to drop the ball, Mom.
Keep it in the Closet
At least he knows his parents are down for whatever.
Playing in her Hair
It's good to have a friend who's been through more shit than you have. Who else would calmly tell this girl that all she needs to do to remove the semen from her hair is give it a good rinse?
Craigslist Seller
Real talk: If your boy tells you he's helping his mom sell the P on Craigslist, you should offer to help the family out. Not laugh. What kind of friend does that?!
The Hangover
After that outburst, we don't think he wants to hear anything else his mom has to tell him. Also, if your mom and grandma think she's a ho, well, maybe she's a ho.
Chin Check
Why can't that happen on the boat?
Grab That Ass
We have no idea what these two were talking about, but grabbing a "black sack" instead of his "black ass" doesn't seem any better.
Sexy Boy Scouts
*Fights urge to make a Sandusky joke.* *Faints*
Brown-nosing 2.0
That's one way to keep your job.
Black Boys in Blue
Now this dude knows what type of strippers to get for his friend's next party.
Straight AIDS
You have to trust that your family won't drop news like this via SMS. If you don't, your family has bigger issues.
Big Deck Bandit
Well, this turned out not to be a fail at all.
Coke Up
Taking coke before hitting the sack is like listening to V-Nasty when you have a headache. But, to each their own.
Hold Your Horses
This fail wasn't even on the texter. Poor eager beaver. Remember to self-filter, everyone.
Not a Bed of Roses
It's better to be in the know than not, right?
Thug Holiday
You laugh, but check Urban Outfitters in a year or two. This may become a reality.
Mountain Jew
Complex Educational Corner: Mountain Jews, found primarily in eastern Caucasus, are real. Read all about them here.
Back to the Future
With the exception of Guy Pearce, all time travelers are cool with us.
Hope Your Baby Doesn't Die
The worst is when people have no idea what auto correct is.That's when things get even funnier.
Guess Who's Black?!
That title has the makings for a very interesting Vh1 reality show. Or a new V-Nasty song.
Hit The Road
If he's driving away with his mom's corpse, let him go, girl.
Have a Coke and a...?
We think the iPhone was trying to warn homie.
Ball Grab
Grabbing your father's balls must be the next step up from kissing your pops on the lips.
Well, This is Awkward
There are probably legions of iPhone users just waiting for such an opportunity to break up with their significant other. If there's not yet an app for that, there should be.
Mexican and...
...
3. Kiss Me, Fist Me
A good fisting will make you forget about whole lot of things. Like where you lost your innocence.
Inappropriate Conversations
Hey, whatever makes the relationship work.
The Craigslist Seller
When shopping on Craigslist it's very important to be clear about what it is you're looking to buy. You may be looking for a car and leave with a court case.
