One day, Florida will rot and fall off. Until then, the residents of the state continue to compete with one another in the race for world's most troubled human.

What did John J. Valentin do when his nephew made "too many" chicken nuggets? He attacked the boy's mother (Valentin's sister) so seriously that she lost consciousness.

Valentin, who told police he had no choice, has been arrested.

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[via Miami New Times]