Image via Complex Original
With society placing an ever-increasing importance on intelligence, it’s no surprise that nerd culture has slowly become revered. The once-reviled image of the basement dwelling geek who spends all of their time playing video games has been exchanged for a new and far more desirable image. As with any cultural shift though, this rise in nerdy acceptance has given way to a whole category of people who’ve glommed onto the tropes of the culture as a status symbol.
Being one of the oldest and easiest subsets of geek culture to enter, gaming has become a focus point for those seeking to adopt this new image and it can be hard to pick out the posers from the true dweebs. It’s not hard to find a significant other who claims to be interested in your favourite past-time, but there are some sure-fire signs that they’re doing it for the prestige rather than for the love of the game.
There are plenty more reasons why someone would pretend to be more interested in games than they actually are (maybe they just desperately want to share an interest with you), but it can be pretty frustrating to date someone who’s only acting the part when you thought you’d found a perfect match. While the following list isn’t a hard and fast guide to sussing out a fake gamer, it should help you decipher whether or not your sweetheart is in fact a gaming enthusiast or just posturing; apologies in advance to any posers who get ousted by it.
My Favorite Game Is Super Mario!
No. No it’s not. No one’s favorite game is Super Mario. That’s like saying your favourite food is bread. Super Mario’s great, sure, but it’s a staple. Nobody picks it for their game to be stranded with, just like nobody picks bread as the only food they’ll ever get to eat. That’s a ridiculous statement and the kind of thing only a fraud would say. Same goes for Pac Man. Only liars pick Pac Man.
Seeds of Deception
People who play video games understand the fundaments of fun. If the internet’s any indication, gamers have no problem tearing apart even the best produced games if they’ve got an element or two that derail the core enjoyment of the experience. That’s why the idea of playing a game like Farmville which is more about mindless repetition than anything of substance is so repulsive to people steeped in the hobby. If your partner’s got a virtual farm with enough crops to feed an imaginary army, there’s a good chance they don’t actually know what a good video game looks like.
It's Party Time!
Look at your significant other’s gaming collection. If the ratio of party games to every other genre is even close to 50% (or worse, beyond) you can bet that the console only gets dragged out for special occasions as a novelty when friends are over. Most people will have one or two of these sorts of games, Wii Sports being an obvious pass, but anyone who’s bought more than that clearly only uses their console as an entertainment for company.
The Jargon Juggle
Over the years, gaming has developed a unique lexicon of words that apply specifically and exclusively to the hobby. While it’s not necessary to understand every last short form used in World of Warcraft, there are some rather universal terms that every legitimate gamer should know. If your guy or gal doesn’t know what you mean when you ask them for their K/D ratio or whether they’re interested in a quick deathmatch, there’s a good chance they usually have no idea what you’re talking about.
Impersonal Profile
It’s hard to play pretty much any game these days without having some sort of account connected to a gaming network. Be it Steam, PSN, or Xbox Live, there’s a good chance that if you’re going to be playing games, you’re going to have a service-wide handle. With stats tracked, achievements earned, and save files stored on these accounts, the idea of sharing it with anyone – even your lover – should seem like torture. If your special someone’s willing to let you or anyone else use their profile, it clearly doesn’t mean that much to them.
Before My Time...
Lifelong gamers have a respect for the classics. Even if they weren’t born in time to catch the Atari 2600 or the arcade boom in prime, there’s a good chance a true gamer has sought out the retro scene through laborious collecting or emulation. Folks who’ve never heard of a ColecoVision or a Commodore 64 know nothing about the roots of their so-called favorite past-time.
What's in a Name?
Not every video game has an eponymous protagonist, but for some reason people seem to think they do. Just like it’s fair to assume anyone who refers to Captain Ahab as Moby Dick hasn’t read the book, it’s safe to assume that anyone who claims Metroid is an awesome bounty hunter or that Zelda’s green tunic looks nice probably hasn’t played the games.
Two Sticks, Too Much
Consoles have used the dual-analog setup for their controllers for three generations now, but it’s still a problem for newcomers to gaming. Something about controlling both of your thumbs asymmetrically is completely foreign to neophytes and it takes a long time to truly get comfortable with. Anyone who claims to be a video game fan and can’t handle standard first-person shooter controls on a console is clearly not fit to call themselves a real gamer.
Shitty Controllers
If you’re hanging out with someone and they’ve got nothing but shitty third-party controllers, get the hell out of there while you can. Having a budget controller for the odd time a friend comes over (because you’re a real gamer and don’t have enough friends to warrant the extra $20 on a brand-name accessory) is fine. Having nothing but janky third-party equipment and using it yourself to play your games is proof that you have no respect for your experience and absolutely no respect for the medium.
Overly Acknowledging Girlfriend
Despite the fact that gaming as a subculture has defined its own personality over the years, developed a community of millions, and has proven itself to be the past-time of stable and well-adjusted individuals there are still plenty of stigmas about it that can cause awkward social situations. Because of this, a majority of video game fanatics will shy away from revealing themselves until they’re pretty confident they’re amongst like-minded peers.
Fake gamers are interested in the hobby as a social status, either because they desperately want to be part of a group or because they’re fascinated with the idea of being part of something that’s not mainstream. With those motives as the root of the hobby, most fake gamers will overly proclaim their fandom, screaming it from rooftops at any opportunity because validation from the outside is what they really seek. I’m not suggesting that every single person who wears a Space Invaders themed t-shirt is projecting more than embodying, but it’s these sorts of things that show an obsession with the presentation of their subcultural attachments.
However, it’s these same people who will constantly try and prove their authenticity by baselessly defending their hobby rather than quietly enjoying it like they should. Only people who are insecure about their outward projection need to constantly reassert themselves and their position by challenging non-gamers by pointlessly bringing up minute trivia, throwing up barriers to entry, or judging others for how legitimately interested in the hobby they are.
Hey, wait a second, why does that sound so familiar?
