He says: "In my dick’s book, you’re the employee of the month. And we all know that's the only book that matters."
Your handbook calls it: Sex as an implied condition for promotion
She calls it: A perfectly good excuse to punch you in the gonads
Why you're wrong: You're an egotistical sexual predator that will make her want to quit before the month is up. Adiós, employee retention! Plus, did you just say your dick has an autobiography? Really?