Stars: Joe Anderson, Leslie Hope, Eloise Mumford, Paul Blackthorne, Thomas Kretschmann, Daniel Zacapa, Bruce Greenwood, Paulina Gaitan, Shaun Parkes
If we were counting down the year's most infuriating shows (so far), ABC's frustrating grab bag known as The River would certainly rank at the top. From its exceedlingly safe approach to characters' fates (i.e., nobody ever dies) to its worst characters existing only to conveniently spit out exposition and dictate mythology (i.e., Paula Gaitan's contrived Jahel), the first found-footage TV project from Paranormal Activity creator Oren Peli constantly shot itself in the proverbial foot.
But damn was it fun to watch. Even at its weakest points, The River kept us hooked with its undying promises of freaky things to come. And by its sixth episode (out of eight in total), the show thankfully went off the rails, firing zombies, reincarnation, and other creepy ish at viewers as it mad-dashed to the satisfyingly downbeat conclusion. Simply for ending strongly, The River gets a (somewhat reluctant) seal of approval.