Over the years, Superman’s villains have transformed the Man of Steel into a whole variety of bizarre things, including a Super-Baby, King Kong, and the leader of an army of Super-Ants. But John Byrne topped all of that when he created a villain named Sleez, who turned Supes into the most unexpected thing of all time: a porn star. In the story, Sleez—who was kicked off of the planet of Apokolips for being so depraved—captures superheroine Big Barda and brainwashes her into starring in highly-sexualized dance videos in order to make enough money to fund his war against Darkseid.
Looking to make even more bank, Sleez then brainwashes Superman into starring in a sex tape with her to truly hit it big, so to speak. But as the duo are in the middle of filming an awkward make out session, Barda’s husband, Mister Miracle, breaks through the ceiling of the shabby porn set and stops Superman before Big Blue does work on her. That’s right: We were about five minutes away from witnessing Superman lay pipe on a fellow Justice League member’s wife on tape.