Don’t be fooled by the satisfaction provided by The Avengers—we’re bound to see more than a few bad summer movies this year. Just last week, in fact, Tim Burton’s disappointing Gothic horror-comedy Dark Shadows suffered from a muddled script and ultimately got its cinematic ass battered by Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and the rest of Marvel’s awesome superhero team. But trust us, folks, Dark Shadows is on par with Burton’s Beetlejuice when compared to the latest big-budget summer flick, Battleship.
Inspired by, but hardly based on, the childhood favorite Hasbro board game, director Peter Berg’s (Friday Night Lights, Hancock) loud, cliché-ridden Transformers knockoff is, at its best, a reel of impressive CGI devoid of any narrative credibility; at its worst, it’s an early contender for the summer’s weakest film. And, yes, that’s even with the Rihanna/Brooklyn Decker one-two punch of sexiness included.
Is Battleship one of the lamest major studio tent-poles ever, though? It’s too soon to tell, frankly, but one thing’s for sure: As of now, we’d rather give Berg’s barrage of explosions, aliens, and wooden acting a second viewing than endure any one of The 25 Worst Summer Movies Blockbusters of All Time another look. Again, it does have Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker.
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Written by Matt Barone (@MBarone)