Hank Moody (David Duchovny) has many faults, but over the course of Californication's five seasons he's always been a good father, or at least tried his best to be one. So it's fitting that he delays his escape to New York City again, for at least the ninth time this season, to comfort Becca (Madeleine Martin) over her lying, cheating, skull-duggerous little man-whore of a boyfriend, and, as a result, eagerly get the father-daughter time that Tyler had been thwarting. But we know that the more time Hank spends in Cali, the more trouble he's bound to get in.
Hank Takes Kali Out On The Town
Hank's other saving grace: screenwriting. Where last week's episode, "The Way Of The Fist", ended with him shadily indebted to Samurai Apocalypse (RZA), this week starts with Hank already having finished the epic Santa Monica Cop script and ready to conclude his business with Sam—excuse us, "Calvin"—and get the hell out of dodge. Naturally, he happens to deliver the script to the Samurai spitter at the exact moment that Kali (Meagan Good) shows up looking impossibly hot and ready to go out. Calvin, ever the careerist, is eager to jump right into the script, so the task of keeping Kali occupied falls to Hank. Oh, boy.
Once again, Hank tries hard to keep the flirting between himself and Kali as PG-rated as possible, but, as he says, the girl loves torturing him. Other guys in the club aren't so hands-off, however. and after Hank has to put a lumberjack hipster down with a well-timed purple nurple the duo flee to a romantic hill-top, where they exchange one innocent good-bye kiss, or seven. But did they go all the way?
Across town, Tyler (Scott Michael Foster) is driving everyone but Becca up the wall at the House of Bates (Jason Beghe) while he's on bed-rest courtesy of his tune-up at the hands of the Samurai goon squad. Only a week later he has somehow gone from being slickly aware that Hank can't snitch on him without damaging his own relationship with Becca to mysteriously being moved enough to confess his sins. Either way it's good to see one of TV's best father-daughter relationships back on solid ground, but how long until Becca finds out exactly how Tyler got beat up?
This Just In: Charlie Watches Too Much Porn
Poor Stuart. The kid is doomed to grow up a nutcase, thanks to his neglectful, sex-crazed mom and two dads. At the rate that he's exposed to porn (in both cinema and real-life), there's no way his first word won't be something sex-related.
Now that he's made his three-figure sex goal a reality, Charlie (Evan Handler) is looking for love, and feeling extra lonely now that he thinks Hank is leaving. So when Marcy (Pamela Adlon) and Stu (Stephen Tobolowsky) dump Stuart on him for the night while they run off to a fancy dinner (read: run off to have sex) and forget his security blanket, it's no surprise Charlie asks Lizzie the hot babysitter to stay for wine after she brings some of the drink over.
What's shocking is how fast Charlie shifts gears when they inevitably kiss. It's been well documented that Charlie loves his adult cinema, but you know he's in a bad place when he's going straight to third base in a matter of three seconds. And yet, Lizzie isn't running for the hills just yet. Does this mean more scenes with Vanessa Angel's hilarious dominatrix are off the table? Too bad, she had promise.
Best Lines Of The Night
"I need to walk this off before I end up back in prison." - Bates
"That's what your folks told you; they actually hate your guts. They rue the day your father failed to pull out in time." - Hank
"Don't look like that and talk like that, it makes my weiner feel weird." - Hank