The 10 Least Sexy Kisses In Movies And TV

By now, you’ve probably seen the promo clip for TLC’s new seriesThe Virgin Diaries; if not, here, go forth and cringe. In the show's preview, a couple admits that they’ve never actually kissed, with the intention of saving their own respective first smooches for their wedding day. The furthest they’ve gone: rubbing their noses together like Eskimos.

When they do reach their wedding day and kiss for the first time, it looks like they're trying to suck each other’s lips off. This is why you first take a car for a test drive first, ladies and gentlemen. In honor of The Virgin Diaries premiere last night, and the now-infamous scene in question, we’ve compiled a list of The 10 Least Sexy Kisses In Movies And TV. You’ve been warned, romantics.

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Though we’re pretty sure that each of the Jersey Shore cast members have hooked up with one another at some point, there’s a difference between innocently assuming it and actually seeing it. In the premiere of this year's lackluster fourth season, set in Italy, we get an eyeful of Deena coming onto Pauly D in a club, followed almost immediately by unmistakable tongue wrestling. All we can really say about their "kiss" is that it can’t even be called kissing—it’s just too grotesque. Watch it and see if your expression doesn’t resemble Ronnie’s by the time the scene ends.

This scene from Alfred Hitchcock's suspense classic is basically a minute-and-a-half face-caressing session. Not sexy. Seriously, if you’ve got a young, hot Grace Kelly with her arms around you, begging for your attention, why the hell would you keep talking?

On Gossip Girl, Blair (Leighton Meester) has the uncanny ability to have sexual chemistry with just about anyone, with the exception coming in this scene from the show's current season. Blair and Brooklyn pseudo-hipster Dan (Penn Badgley) lock lips in what's revealed to merely be a sequence from Dan’s book. Sorry, Leigh, but when you're going into the kiss, it looks like you’re about to swallow his face. At least make him buy you dinner first before you go all the way there.

We don't ever expect all that much from shows on The CW, but this is just an exceptionally bad scene. In it, Shenae Grimes’ character, Annie, goes to see her crazy boyfriend Jasper (Zachary Ray Sherman) after finding out that she didn't score a role in movie. They proceed to kiss after he whispers a few words of confidence about her sucky acting abilities, and she tells Jasper that she wants to have sex for the first time with him.

What follows is an awkwardly overacted makeout session, complete with Jasper leaning forward so much that it looks like Annie is about to fall over backwards. The scene's only accomplishment, perhaps, is that in its awkwardness it's somewhat realistic in that "awkward high school" way. But still the opposite of sexy.

As great of a filmmaker as he is, there’s no denying one fact: Woody Allen is awkward as hell. So, in turn, it's always uncomfortable to watch Allen kiss anyone on film, but this smooch from Everyone Says I Love You with Julia Roberts absolutely takes the cake.

Not only does her character, Von, have to bend over just to kiss Allen’s character, Joe, but once their lips meet there’s literally no movement from either of them. You’d almost think the scene was freeze-framed if the background music didn’t continue playing. Like most things involved in relationships, kissing takes actual effort and work. Otherwise… Well, you get this.

We realize that this kiss from Dumb & Dumber is intentionally funny, thus making it purposefully bad. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s uncannily similar to aforementioned Virgin Diaries moment. And that we feel quite bad for Lauren Holly.

In the underrated comedy I Love You, Man, Paul Rudd’s character, Peter, has trouble making friends with dudes. In an effort to rectify that, he goes out and attempts to find one, particularly a "best man," before his wedding. And the above dude-fest is one of the unfortunate results. Though the kiss is intentionally awkward and hilarious (Peter is literally stunned into paralysis), that doesn’t cheapen it, which is the mark of a truly well done comedy scene. Also, there’s tongue.

Awkward, cheesy, and just plain old bad special effects—don’t you just love the '90’s? While this scene from Ghost is supposed to be romantic and sad, the fact that Patrick Swayze is glowing like he just escaped from a radioactive facility ensures that the scene is anything but.

Multi-tasking is perhaps Nathan’s (Robert Sheehan) downfall. Misfits, a popular British sci-fi/dramedy series, had been building up Nathan's romance with Kelly (Lauren Socha) since the pilot. The sexual tension finally culminated in this episode when the two kiss for the first time. And, as you can probably guess after watching the clip, the last time. Though it seemed like the two were meant to be, Nathan managed to literally grope that notion right off the table, leaving nothing but an awkward lip attack that's closer to mauling than kissing.

Though you wouldn’t expect a lot of romance from an alien thriller film called Species, it surprisingly does have its moments. Take this MTV Movie Award-winning scene, for example, with Natasha Henstridge’s character, man-eating alien Sil, and a dude she meets in a club (played by Anthony Guidera).

The guy, named Robbie, has no clue that the hot blonde he just picked up is actually a homicidal extra-terrestrial. Unfortunately, he gets a little aggressive and handsy, because, well, he’s an asshole (you can tell as much even before he talks just by looking at his hair). Since Sil isn’t about to take that shit, she lets him kiss her, only to then drive her tongue through his skull. Not exactly the kind of head he was hoping for.